Divorce settlement

[Ftworkingmumofthree]

I was married for 20 years and have been separated for 2 yrs. I was the major earner and have a decent pension earned over the period of the marriage. I am living in the family home and paying all bills and maintenance for it. I have 3 children aged 10, 11 & 13. I work full time and full time care of the kids. I am raising the divorce papers but my lawyer says my estranged husband is due to half my pension and half the equity in the house! What is an acceptable offer as this will put me into major debt and cannot be seen as fair surely?

you are also due half his pension and your ex needs to be paying maintenance for the three children at around 25% of his income for all three. How do you think you the split of money should be?

unfortunately if your husband contributed to the bills and childcare when he lived with you throughout your 20 year marriage then yes he is entitled to half of the house and your pension,

i don't think he'd get half the house if it meant making 3 children homeless - my understanding is that housing the children is the priority (though my marriage was much shorter than yours so perhaps the 20 years will make a difference to his entitlement)

I also understand that children (and where they live) is priority.

I would be looking to negotiate a final 'settlement' figure with your ex - and then to ensure you have a financial break settlement (may be the wrong expression) done/set up with your divorce.

In effect - can you 'buy him out?' - which may include extending the mortgage on your house. At least you don't lose it and ensure stability for the kids.

I am being left with debt post divorce too, so understand how you feel. Ensure that you are getting your maintenance money as well.

You may be better off putting this in Legal

Rubbish-he is not entitled to half the house now. The priority is keeping the children housed. If you are able to take over the mortgage, then he will be entitled to some (not necessarily half) of the equity. If you cannot raise that now then he may have to wait until the youngest reaches 16/finishes education. He MAY be entitled to some of your pension, but if he works and has his own that is unlikely. He should also be paying child maintenance.

My friend's solicitor told her what yours told you, and as an ex-family solicitor I was able to tell her it was very likely to be wrong (she ended up having a "clean break" and keeping the house, having seen another solicitor). It is difficult to tell you what you should be offering because it depends on many factors-ability to remortgage, length of marriage, his income, whether he has comprimised his career to look after children etc. However, what I can tell you is that you should definately be going to another solicitor to get a second opinion. It is easy to place all your faith in the solicitor you see, but remember they do vary in quality, and what you have relayed does not sound right. I would ask around friends/aquaintances and get recommendations.

Draw up details of your and your husbands income and outgoings, investments, pensions, mortgage and house value etc. Take documents with you. See if you can afford a remortgage in your own name, and how much equity you can release from the house (if any). Then see the other solicitor, who will find it much easier to advise if s/he has all the details in front of them. Note it will also save a lot of their time, and therefore your money.

sorry the phone went so i cut short my post, your husband cant actually take half the house now, you need it for the DC, but your solicitor will work out what percentage he will be entitled to when your youngest child turns 18 years old, (that will depend on if he contributes to the mortgage payments as well as child maintenance payments) up until then you should be able to keep and live in the house, when your youngest turns 18 your husband is then legally entitled to his percentage of the house, working on the theory that you no longer have any 'children' in the house, i am in a similar situation and am able to live in the family home for now but when my youngest turns 18 i have been told by my solicitor that my ex will be entitled to his 'share' and if i cant pay him off, then i will need to sell the house. your ex will need to get himself a solicitor so that both solicitors can work out your financial settlement, or you have a choice to go to mediation,

some posters saying child needs to be 16 i thought it was 18 not sure without double checking with solicitor.

Nothing in stone mm. Usual 16/when youngest finishes ft education/ or whatever is agreed on.

I was in a similar situation (3 dc's and worked. I got 70% equity as well as 25% of his earnings for maintenance. Try another lawyer

yeah i agree lovelots i tried 2 layers/solicitors b4 i found one i, a. liked and found approachable, and b. specialized in family law

layers?? i mean lawyers!

If your solicitor says your husband is entitled to half your house and half your pension you need a different solicitor. There are no set percentages. You both need to make a full declaration of all your assets and then sort out what a fair split would be. It is best if you can do this between you rather than argue through solicitors or, even worse, go to court.

I did what prh said we agreed it but there are no set rules every situation is different eg I did have to sell the family home because it had 4 bedrooms and I only have 2 dc so it was beyond my housing requirements.

Go to a family law solicitor if you can

Thank you all for your responses. The complication is my husband has no pension and is termed to be on low income. I ve carried him for the length of the marriage and he was able to walk away with no debts. He moved into a 1 bedded apparently( had no desire to have the kids stay over) messed up his finances and has now moved in with his parents! I ll be blowed if he s getting his hands on a lot of cash. Think I will follow your advice and find another solicitor. Thanks again

It isn't relevant where he lives or whether he blows all his money - the main thing is he needs to be paying towards the upkeep of the children from the marriage.

You can not prevent him form getting his hands on a lot of cash - even if it is when the last child reaches 18 or 21.

You maybe able to alter the split between 50-50 to 40-60, or 65-35 even.

A judge will not award you 100% of and is unlikely to let your exdh walk away with a very small %.

whether you keep the house until the children have reached adulthood or you sell now or buy your ex out - you will at some stage need to look at doing something along those lines.

being on a low income and not having a pension is not a complication - for your ex anyway

Courts are not interested in apportioning assets based on individual examples of how people behaved during the marriage. The priority is the needs of the children. Definately see another solicitor though. Now 'may' be a good time to buy him out if your house has lost value or you may be able to have a court order in place to delay the sale of the house until the youngest is 18 (am fairly sure it's 18 although double check) Delaying the sale means that you can put some cash aside over the next few years so that you 'could' pay him off without actually having to sell. Given that you were married for 20 years, he is in a strong position to make a substantial claim on your pensions.

If the equity in the house plus any savings (no matter whose name they are in - after 20 years all is "joint") are enough to rehaouse you and kids plus him then you will be expected to release funds. The split may not be 50/50 as you have to house at the children (until first monday in Sept after they are 18 if they stay until the upper 6th or when the child benefit stops if they leave earlier.

If you live in an average three bed semi (housing needs are 1 bedroom for you, one bedroom for all boys and one bedroom for all girls), then yes you are responsible for the bills and mortgage as you are "getting the benefit" of living there and he isn't, but he is still entitled to a percentage of the assets, if they are not liquid then he will have to wait until they are.

Usual result would be that you get a Mesher Order stating you and kids live in house until youngest is 18/you remarry or cohabit for 6 months. Then house should be sold and he gets his percentage. Effectively half the equity is his and he can't either live in the housde or get his money out until one of the above triggers is met. This does not disentitle him to his share.

The pension - the court will want to see that neither of you is dependent on benefits on retirement this means the pensions (up to date of divorce) will all be added together and divided between you. If you have one and he doesn't he will be whistling Dixie all the way home I'm afraid.