tricky one

[notgreat1]

I was married for a long time to my first bf, divorce just through. Am happy about that.
Just started dating again, and with a really 'nice' bloke who I feel really relaxed with, and we have lots in common.
However, the sex is crap, we don't get many chances to be on our own, but even when we are, ie things more relaxed, it is still too quick, he's not interested in round 2, or foreplay really.
I like spending time with him, and he enjoys my company. Is this a deal breaker? Can an old dog be shown new tricks? Is it worth me trying, or should I move on to another before this goes on too long. We have been seeing each other for about 6 weeks.
I know I want more after a short lived fling with an unavailable man who was amazing in bed.

Can you take control and slow things down a bit? Let him know what you want? Or when you're relaxing, can you talk to him about it without sounding critical? Perhaps he's shy.

You think a man who doesn't do foreplay is shy, worraliberty?

I have tried taking control, but he doesn't respond.
Not sure he is shy, maybe because he was married a long time he got into a rut, as does happen?
I put up with rubbish sex with my horrid ex, and am just a bit disappointed that I have found a lovely man who is a bit rubbish in that department.

This happened to me a few times when I was last single (am now abstinent - it's easier!) It's incredibly frustrating. Of course it's worth a few good efforts at show & tell. But I came to the regretful conclusion that some men are just too set in their ways / boring /selfish. Selfish, actually; I'm just trying to be kind!

Hmm interesting.
We have had two chances at uninterrupted, no-one in the house sex, and the second was worse than the first. Couple of fumbles in the car too but I wasn't really counting them, although they followed the same pattern.

tbh if I hadn't had the other fling in the middle, I wouldn't have known any better, but now I do, and feel frustrated. I just can't work out if it worth splitting up with him now, or carrying on for a bit.Still so new to this dating thing.

Me? I'd dump him. Good sex is important to me.

I would dump him, too. Good sex makes such a huge difference to a relationship. This sounds as though you'd be as happy if it didn't happen. If you feel like that now, what chance is there for the future?

I'd be tempted to tell him that was the reason, too.

ok, so how do I tell him??
It's a sensitive issue, and he is a guy who seems like he has had some knock backs.
I know sympathy is not a good thing, when I should be wanting to rip his clothes off, but I have no idea how to start that conversation.

"Sorry but we're not sexually compatible."

Have been in this situation before and simply said that he was a genuinely lovely person but that sexually the chemistry wasn't right.

You're not going into so much detail that he can be knocked, but that he knows why. If he wants you to elaborate you could always say you like to be a little more adventurous?

It doesn't sound like the crap sex is going to get any better. Best not to settle for bad bed (or car!) action!!

If I liked a bloke but he was too quick I would personally would talk to him first and give him a chance to improve the situation before I dumped him

I like the suggestion about the chemistry not being right.
I do feel bad about this, but am determined not to settle for second best after realising that was what my marriage was for so long.
But I think (maybe I am being a coward here) that I should let him know how I am feeling first somehow, give him one last chance...