Quite long rant about my relationship with DP

[thislittlesisterlola]

I dont know if I am being paranoid or something else?

DP and I have been bickering a lot for just over a month I would say. Every Saturday over one thing or another. Both at fault or him.
He also has taken to going out with his friends every Friday or Saturday for the last 4 in a row. I understand in some relationships this is normal and that's fine. It's not normal for us. Normally he would go out once or twice a month.
He said earlier on in the month that was him done until March. He later claims to have forgotten we ever had this conversation. I am certain we did. He also said he wouldn't be going out this wkend. He is still out and has not even told me when he will be home.
This maybe petty to you but it isn't to me. We have 8 month old DS who has been poorly and not sleeping so we have both struggled. DS has been co sleeping so intimacy is a no go. We just function ifyswim? Just live together, food shop and try and sort DS' bedtime routine out.
I am also 19 wks pg and being treated for anaemia. I never really thought low iron levels were a big deal but I feel rotten.
He just doesn't think. He is coming across to me as quite selfish. He's very honest in a bad manners kind of way. E.g to save him time in the morning I made his sandwiches, he later text me to complain about them. I made him his favourite dinner for V day he later complained the dairy upset his stomach. I'm just constantly put down.
He seems to expect a lot in return for giving f' all.
I keep explaining to him how he would feel if it were the other way round and even childishly I accept did do this to prove a point. His response was that I didn't do what he expected me to when he wanted me to do it.

I think he does love me but we cannot seem to mend us and I don't know how. I have thought about couple counselling but he would say I'm being over the top.
I often feel I paranoid and a drama queen.
I read the thread about gas lighting and I still feel sick to my stomach recognising it.
I very much doubt anyone else is involved but how do I get him to see I need to see some drive to begin fixing us? We had a nice afternoon out with DS but DS played up making it stressful but ok.
I feel I need some love.
This is so silly. We are both adults but the things Ive mentioned seem so childish. I dont think it's unreasonable to want to know when someone is coming home. This isn't some teenage relationship we both heading towards 30. His friends although 2 are relationships don't have children and tbh lead bachelor type lifestyles.
I just need some kind words really. In a bit of a silly state.

Reading it back I will add he admitted to me he goes out to be away from me. He later said he said to piss me off but that hurt. I hate fighting with him.

Did you plan the second pregnancy? Sounds like he feels his youth slipping away and he is despreate to pretend he is still a carefree guy. I am not defending him but to go from no children to 2 in a short period of time can be a scary experience (I know I did it)!

I see your point. It was planned in the sense we both talked about it and if it happened, it happened...but why would it happen quickly or without drugs as it took so long and a year of fertility treatment to have DS you see. Tad naive maybe or just very lucky. He is very happy as he wanted two but his initial reaction wasn't jumping from the rooftops.
I guess you could be right. His friends are not controlling but they are tight knit. I know he cares what they think. Even though he would deny it. He has only just told them tonight we are having another baby. When I questioned why on earth he hadnt told them

Sorry phone just sent that post unfinished!

When I questioned him he blurted out he worried what they would think. He said they had pretty much lost him as it is as he doesn't go out every week with them. He can't afford too either tbh he knows this.
I just don't know what to do. I keep trying to make it better he keeps throwing it in my face. I honestly think he would not be happy if I was out at 2.20 in the morning whilst he was at home with DS. I can't make him see what the shoe is like on the other foot.
He can't have being a daddy and trying to hang on to his youth.
I wonder what he would be like if I did go out every wknd not telling him where I was and when I was coming home. I couldn't and wouldn't am pg for goodness sake and my friends are mums who obviously want to spend their wkends with their families. My other friends are scattered over the country so regular meet ups don't happen. I do go out occasionally but on a wk night and to the pub 3 minutes from our front door! Or DS is left with family whilst DP is at work so not the same.
He plays the pregnancy card when it suits him.
Sorry, this has all come to a head today in my mind.
Never posted on relationships before about him but this is making me feel horrible.

Oh, poor you, lola :( You sound very lonely & abandoned. I'm not surprised.

I made his sandwiches, he later text me to complain about them. I made him his favourite dinner for V day he later complained the dairy upset his stomach. I'm just constantly put down.

His response was that I didn't do what he expected me to when he wanted me to do it.

He expects you to do his bidding? Or even to anticipate what he wants & get it right? Complains when you 'fail' to be a mind-reading robot, basically.

I often feel I paranoid and a drama queen. I read the thread about gas lighting and I still feel sick to my stomach recognising it.

He is controlling you.

I feel I need some love ... I keep trying to make it better he keeps throwing it in my face

That "trying to make it better" feeling is what happens when someone treats you badly and tells you you're in the wrong for noticing. It's not good. Also, this level of stress and tiredness isn't good for your pregnancy. I'm glad you got your iron sorted out, you're going to need all the good health you can get!

You say he only started going out so much a few months ago. Is this when he started being so nasty to you, or has he always been a selfish twat?

If recent, he may be having an affair.

Please talk to someone you trust in real life, get some moral support.