My DH is crap in bed....

[VeryDisappointed]

We've been married for 8 years and together for 23 and it's never been great. He has never lasted more than 2 mins during sex and now it's all over in less then 30 secs. We've both never had another partner and I'm getting increasingly frustrated and wondering what sex would be like with a man who lasts longer. The worst thing is he really doesn't seem to doing anything to improve things. What do I do?

ENM - if he OP is anything like me she needs a good, long, hard shagging to feel fully satisfied, no matter how many orgasms are given by mouth/hand.

Bringing her to orgasm first is a big mistake, it's hampered their sex life, not enhanced it and there's nothing more dull and unsatisfying than the same old routine every time.

Fair point Mal, I'm with ya, I just meant there is a difference between a man who is crap in bed ie just has his orgasm and doesn't try to improve things for the partner, and a man who can't help coming too quickly but does his best to make sure she enjoys herself.

When we realised that sex with my DH was not the norm he got a copy of Masters and Johnson and we followed the treatment plan for premature ejaculation. (It works for over 95 percent of cases). We made it part of our routine and it really helped.

There is lots of good theory about how men learn to control their orgasm or not. It sounds a bit like learning bladder control as a child. But with practice most men can learn to delay coming until they are ready.

And it is quite fun!

I agree that it is worth trying a daily course to calm things down.

It sounds like there's not much intimacy in the way you have sex: he makes sure you get yours, then gets his. Bish bash bosh. Not much shared closeness.

Maybe this might be somehong to address? Encouraging him to see sex as a joint effort toward a shared experience of closeness and pleasure. And maybe encouraging yourself to feel that's something worth asking for and that you deserve. It's a tricky one though, especially if you've not said anything for 23 years about what you really want.

If he's making the effort to at least see that you come first then his heart's in the right place. But it does sound as though you both need to look at your habits and expectations.

There's some expression I read on here once - something along the lines of:

Fuck me badly once, more fool you;
Fuck me badly twice, more fool me.

Talk to him.

He's not bad at sex, you are bad at sex, you as a couple.

He isn't there to give you good sex.

Why on earth have you not talked about this?

I never understand why people put up with crap sex.

NoSuchThingAsSociety

One of my favourite sayings is:

"There's nothing quite as over-rated as a bad shag.
And nothing quite as under-rated as a good shit"

I tend to agree.

yeah a couple of pints before might help him, maybe if he breathes slower or wears a condom? 39 dosent sound too old for round 2 either!

39 - I thought you were going to say something like 60 - there is still plenty of time left to have another 30 years of good sex. At 39 he should be fit for round 2 and 3 at least.

Hope you find something that helps.

multivitamins + minerals (Zinc) + vigorous exercise + a bit of day time flirting and contact