are we more likely to say how we really feel when drunk???

[tinkerbell41]

no real reason for asking this question other than i,m stuck in my bedroom cause both kids have friends to stay over and i,m trying to stay out of their way as much as poss-trying to be a cool mum!!! so just posting out of interest...

anyway one thing i notice about my new man is how much more affectionate he is when drunk and how he says much much nicer things to me,is more open and laid back...now i know its not as a way to get me into bed cause thats already been sorted before he comes to visit-inother words we have already agreed whether or not hes staying over that night...
he seems to be able to let me know more how hes feeling when drunk and i just wondered is this really how he feels and he finds it easier to talk to me when barriers are down or is it just the way guys are when drunk..my eh didnt drink so no real experience??

it can depend I would say..

some people lose their inhibitions when drunk and say what they really feel...

others talk a load of bollocks...

everyone is different...

If your bloke is normally a bit shy, then a drink probably gives him a bit more confidence, so I would say yes, its how he really feels. :)

No, it's not a guy thing. I'm a happy, affectionate drunk and it looks like your boyfriend is, too! Don't read any more into it than that.

To answer your title: I think people do sometimes let their real feelings out when drunk - but this tends to be the negatives, like secrets and criticisms. A gushy drunk is just a gushy drunk

hmm i guess thats fairly positive then??? hes far from shy-quite the opposite in fact but i think a lot of that is because he puts on a bit of a face to cover his insecurities of which i really think there are many-he talks a lot more bout whats happened in his life when drunk and its quite sad in a way...

he will say much more bout what he thinks of me when drunk than when sober....hes says he wants no strings but isnt acting that way?? it all a bit confusing and i was completely fine bout that but its been two months now so i need to make some decisions for my own sake...if i could just keep my head in the its fun while hes around abd forget bout when hes not then all would be v v good..

meant 'and'

Sounds like you're having a very nice time :)

From a longer-term perspective, I'd be a bit worried about the insecurities that come out when he's had a few. People who drink to hide from their issues don't make very good partners.

So your heart's started to follow your fanjo How good are you at compartmentalising your feelings?

ag-thats exactly the problem i,m worried bout...i,m starting to like him too much and while i,m not exactly changing my life around him i know i,m making little changes and that kinda worries me as i dont want to muck my life up...

right from the start we both agreed that it was just a bit of uncomplicated fun and great sex!!!
but now its changed a bit and i dont know if hes starting to use me or if he just very young emotionally and in need of a bit of tlc...i,m happy to give him tlc as that very much my personality but i dont want to go back into the dark place where i was last year when a previous short relationship ended v badly(he died) i fell apart and have worked very hard to get myself to where i am-in a much much better place than i have been for years and thanks to gym am looking the best i have for years too(long way to go but am slowly getting there and that feels so so empowering)

he doesnt cook for himself and has started to come round on days kids are away and i cook for him...but now he texts to see if i can leave any food out for him if i,m cooking other days too....i dont do it every day as i really dont want him to get too used to it...he made a joke about me doing his ironing and i laughed at him...he asks me to go to his classes and always makes me be his partner then smirks at me in that wait til i get you to bed later kinda way..think it turns him on to see me all hot and sweaty..
he was here last night for a while as kids were out and was havnig a drink and was so sweet but i really dont know were i stand...if i knew it was going to continue the way it is now til it finishes i,d be v happy as i dont want anything more but i just dont want him to be using me and for me not to even realise and make a fool of myself..

You sound ever so sweet! You also sound a bit insecure and vulnerable? It's lovely that you're having great sex, feeling good about yourself and getting all those tingly feelings :)

I think you should stop leaving food for him - what are you, a takeaway??! Also, don't cook for him more than a couple of times a week. For god's sake don't do his ironing.

See how it goes?

I would not cook for him as much either, when he joked about the ironing how did he do it? Were you talking about putting ironing away or the like and he joked, or did he bring it up randomly?

mh-he asked me what i did that afternoon and i said a huge pile of ironing and he said oh will you no mine..i just laughed...

the thing is i,m would be happy to it his ironing and i,m happy to cook for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wont do it but promise,will resist the urge.....is it ok to still cook for him the odd time or does its send out completey the wrong signals...its just the way i am-i do like to help people as much as i can but wont be a doormat...

is it wrong to kinda look after him if i,m sleeping with him???

ag-ta for the sweet comment,to be honest i,m too nice for my own good but dont think my ex would think that!!!!
not sure if i,m insecure more lonely-fed up being on my own(was extremely lonely in my marriage),dont want to get remarried or anything but just want to have someone who cares...and to have good adventuruss sex with!!!!!

If he's found that, since knowing you, his food bill is down, then no, it's not right.

I talk bollocks when I'm drunk.

atstl-i did think that too to be honest but last time we out in car i stopped to get some food to cook and he paid for it so hes not all bad i guess...

ormirian-nice bollocks or rubbish not true bollocks??????!!!!!!!

You need your adult relationships to be more or less equal. Sex=sex, you're both getting something out of that. Who buys all these drinks he has round yours? If his food bill's going down, then yours must be going up. So, NOT equal there! (Why on earth can't a grown man feed himself?) If you cook for him, then you need something to balance it out - does he fix your leaky taps, tidy out the shed for you or anything like that?

It is nice to do things for someone, that's true. Remember it works both ways - he's your lover, not your child :)

You need to have a wee chat with him, whether it is still just fun or is it a full blown relationship, fun does not involve cooking and ironing, as you well know!

Have the talk soon, or you could be sooked into thinking its something its more than it is because of these 'extras', whilst he's thinking 'fun' with domestic extras iyswim.

As someone said on another thread, they don't know how any relationship began with the assistance of alcohol!

he brings his drinks if he wants them and for me too if i want anything...maybe i,m maknig it sound like he drinks alot...he only staying overnight when kids not here-at most two nights out of 14...and he a lightweight,couple of drinks and thats him....

i know you guys right just needed to hear it i guess...maybe i,m trying too hard to be his 'girlfriend' which if i,m honest to myself is what i want to be....but then he kinda treats me like one..aaaaggghhhhhh.....i just need to get my head in the right place and enjoy the fun part for however long it lasts dont i....being really honest couldnt walk away if i wanted too at min,its too nice having some fun for a change..