12 year old son, do I interfere?

[RedSnow]

I allow my son to have facebook on the condition that I know his password and can check on it whenever I want to. I don't usually because he's a good kid and is never really in trouble for anything but I noticed today that whenever I went in his room, he shut facebook down quickly. He didn't seem very happy either. I logged onto his account on my laptop and noticed a number of conversations going on. Gist of the story is, a girl from school has blocked him saying he's a stalker and pisses her off and is always nagging her to go out with him when she's said no. Another girl is on there telling DS to get over it and that everyone else is getting pissed off hearing him go on about it constantly. DS says the girl shouldn't be bragging about hurting someone who "loves" her and that's why he's insisting on talking to her. Another girl asked him what was wrong and he said this other girl was being a bitch. A number of other girls (obviously enjoying the drama) are passing messages between DS and this other girl. DS keeps begging people to nag the girl to unblock him.
What do I do? DS is obviously bothering the girl and should leave her alone. He's not going to listen to me saying that though, we've had situations like this before, he gets obsessed with people, scares them away by being too OTT. If I speak to him, he'll just agree with me, promise to leave her alone and then find some other way than facebook to bother her.

Do I stay out of it or interfere?

OP - good on you also for getting in touch with the school counselor. I hope he/she can give you a professional opinion and help you to decide what to do next.

Ofcourse OP isn't the worst parent of the year. If she was she wouldn't be doing something about her son's behaviour. And she's right- if she bans FB he could end up taking other more drastic steps to bother this girl and get himself into trouble.

I agree with others that your DS sounds like he needs counselling- this age is so hard at times. Everything is so intense at times and things get blown up to be bigger dramas than they would be otherwise.

I thought fb didn't allow accounts until 18

Surely there's enough chance for unhealthy exchanges in the playground without it at home too.

OP you seem to have a handle on the situation, however a bit more sopervision may be required.

Op you sound like a perfectly good parent to me. You discovered this because you had put boundaries in place regarding his FB account in the first place, and now you are considering what the best way forward is.

Not everyone is going to agree about the best way forward in tricky situations like this. Whatever you decide to do there will always be someone to tell you it's the wrong choice because it's not what they would do!

But... you've had a calm discussion with your son about it, you've explained the possible consequences of his behaviour, you've contacted the school counsellor, and you're also considering getting more specialised help for your son.

You care, and you're taking some action. That's what good parents do.