I dont understand men

[ForestFly]

My partner left four months ago (i wrote a lot about it on mumsnet!) and has just sent me this text. "I will always love you. Thanks for being such agood friend and lover. Time evolves, n u'l always be beautiful. dnt evr lose who u r. that smile is unique! You Rock! Listen to coldplay track 8. ul always have the gift of being a mother im glad we did that together.thanks for making me a man.x"
What the hell is he playing at? It has really upset me! (the songs lyrics are the truth is i miss you)

[doormat]

Maybe he wants both sides of his bread buttered.
Sorry to be so blunt.
Just ignore him , I know it will be hard but you have come this far,dont let him wreck your head even more.

[Janstar]

Guilt. Regret. B**y men, eh? Don't let him make you a victim. It sounds to me like he has way more work to do than texting to have any chance of getting you back. So until he does that work, forget about it, if you can.

[Jimjams]

oh what a pratt! Sounds like he thinks you haven't been paying enough attention to him recently. Ignore him. 4 months a long way to go - don't let him get to you.

[wickedstepmother]

Agree, messing with your heart and head like this is wrong. He was the one who chose to leave you and your family, perhaps he should have listened to that song before he walked out of the door ?

[Boe]

Forestfly get someone else to send him a text so he does not recognise your number saying what the hell does he think he is doing sending my girlfriend stuff like this.

He has no right to do this to you. Don't let him get to you.

[ThomCat]

JimJams said it for me on this one - he's feeling neglected. If you're going to feel anything from this feel smug!

[ForestFly]

It has really upset me because it made me realise i still love him and there was no need for all the cr#p hes put us through. I wish i had ignored it but i sent this back "you might think im great but i wasnt good enough for you was i" it was probably a really stupid thing to send back but after all your great advice ill ignore him and feel smug! Sometimes it makes you feel like your back at square one when you get upset! THANKS ALL XX

[doormat]

forestfly keep your chin up girl and hold your head high. You are doing great. LOL and hugsXXX

[ForestFly]

Crafty Boe!

[fio2]

Forestfly of course you're going to be upset its only been 2 months after all, but IMO he sounds really immature. Like what Boe said, infact do you think he thinks someone else is sniffing around?

[ThomCat]

Has he responded back to your text?
Ask advice on here before texting back if he responds!

[ForestFly]

No he doesnt think there is anyone, and thanks i will ask you all before my next step!

[Jemma7]

Typical bloke i'm afraid ForestFly.
Was onbiosuly feeling a bit lonely, wondering how things might've been if hadn't been a prat and though he would send you this message with mixed signals to see how u would respond.

That's my opinion tough - i haven't read your story so i don't know the ins an outs but from an outsider looking in, that is what it looks like to me!

As Doormat said - keep your head up and be strong and most importantly, Do what feels right to you!

Keep us posted!

[Blu]

FF, sorry I missed your original thread, (I'm too new) so don't know circumstances etc. But I think you need to know whether you would ever take him back if he was really serious and committed...that is, take him back for really positive pro-active reasons like you really do love him, trust him not to undermine your self-esteem and be a genuinely positive partner in your life. If the answer to all that is 'yes' you need him to lay himself much more on the line than a text, which is ambiguous; I miss you is a long way from 'and I'm truly sorry and I want you back'.
I think the text you sent was a good response, but don't get into a dialogue with him where you reveal any of your feelings while he protects himself and plays silly maudlin self-pitying games. And if you can't answer yes to the questions above, ignore him or send him a clear calm 'NO'.

[ForestFly]

Thanks, Gemma i do agree with you, he did just have a lonely moment im sure, i wont even consider talking about anything with him (not even as a friend)after a text, i need a lot more than that. Dont know if i can answer yes to those questions blu, but i could before he left! He rang before to ask how i was, he obviously wanted a response. I just didnt mention it and asked when he would be seeing the children, telling him how much i was enjoying his eldests' first days at school.

[zebra]

Do you think he was drunk when he sent that text, FF?

[ForestFly]

I did say to him did you get drunk last night, in our formal conversation, he said no , but i know what you mean it sounds alchohol indused, does that mean it was all shi~~~~e

[madgirl]

He sounds like he has a whole load of growing up to do. You on the other hand sound dignified and true to yourself and that is all that matters. If you have those things you will be the happy one in the end and he will end up sad and lonely and still wishing he hadn't treated you so badly. hang in there forest fly xxxx

[zebra]

Yes, FF, I think you should treat it as all Sh~~~~~e.