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Original poster

Crisis talks

7 replies

diamonddolly · 17/02/2011 15:32

My dh and I have been married for 10 yrs (in relationship for 17yrs). and we have 3 dcs.

after a week of giving birth with my last dc i discovered he was having an affair for the previous year. he said it was not physical just emotional(don't know if i believe him) that was 3 years ago and i still can't seem to get over it.

we went to relate counselling which didn't really help and we've muddled on since.

he works away week days and home wknds and we never get a chance to have any quality time together.

so my point is (eventually!)... I'm not enjoying the relationship and I'm not happy anymore, although I still love him... is there any point in continuing this charade just for the sake of our family?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 17/02/2011 15:33

Is he willing to change his job to be able to spend more time with his family?

KazBarTheFriendlyGhost · 17/02/2011 15:39

I have 2 questions:

1.Do you like him?
2.What would your life be like if he wasn't in it?

Original poster
diamonddolly · 17/02/2011 15:42

@ squeakytoy - we can't afford for him to change job

@Kaz.. -I do like him although all we seem to do is argue, even in front of the children now
with him being away i don't see my life being any different altho i'll miss the support (on phone and in person at the wknds)

OP posts:
TangledScotland · 17/02/2011 16:01

I dont know if the fact you have called it a charade answers your own question for you?

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 17/02/2011 16:07

Did the Relate counselling deal with his affair? Have you properly dealt with it since, as a couple?

Original poster
diamonddolly · 17/02/2011 16:19

my dh and i are constantly going over old ground and i'm getting a bit sick of it.

i'm only 34 and don't want to look back and regret not making a move

no-one in my family or friend circle has left their partner so its very scary

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 17/02/2011 17:25

Can you not move so that you are together then.

Some relationships work fine when one partner is away all through the week, but not when there has been infidelity usually.

Downsize life so that he can work and be home every night?

If you want something to work, compromises have to be made.

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