What to do next - he's refusing to move

[oystercard]

Long past history of marital breakdown, many false starts to reconcile etc. Main problem (from my perspective) is the fact DH is alcoholic and this has now become unmanageable and is having a detrimental effect on all our lives. During the many rows since Christmas we have both said it's best if he leaves, even if for a time limited period to give us all a break.

Having taken the morning off to sort out details, I left the house leaving him to look for places to stay. Within an hour, he's on the phone saying he's reflected on it and has no intention of leaving his house so I'll need to decide what I want to do.

I'm totally livid but seeing solicitor this afternoon for an initial appointment.

What on earth can I do? The house is jointly owned but I've paid for everything over the last year as H isn't working. I'm not bloody leaving with DD.

Sorry for the rant

Get house up for sale, split any equity and move on, bit harsh but it sounds like a clean break is what you need, it's almost impossible to stay in marital home after a break-up and he doesn't sound like he will be reasonable, hopefully bills are not paid out of joint bank account so you can prove you were the bill payer.

Best of luck, big hugs, thinking about you

Good point - bill are paid from a joint bank account but can show that I was the only one putting any money in as I transfer it electronically from my account.

God I need some legal advice, there are pitfalls all over the place.

half term next week. Looks like focus is on tidying up the house and getting it on the market. It's at that point you feel you might as well put up a big flashing sign outside announcing to all the neighbours what a bloody shamles your life has become!

It can take longer if he doesn't co-operate but it won't change the end result, just the timetable.

Is the house in joint names? That could be an issue with some agents if they think there's a divorce/split as they may insist on instructions from both parties. If you don't mention the split and arrange for them to come when he's not around you may get round that.

That might get the property sold but you could have another problem when it comes to signing the contract if it's in joint names and he refuses to sign.

I would see if you can get yourself some legal advice on this topic. Some solicitors still do 30 mins free legal advice, if you go to them with just this question, they could tell you what to do if he doesn't co-operate.

post this on money and legal there are some good proffessional that post on there

I think (though do check this with a solicitor) that you can temporarily move out without losing any of your rights over the home, if he won't leave and living with him is unbearable. Basically the sale can still be forced against his wishes but it will just take a bit longer.
DOes his alcoholism make him violent or aggressive, though? If he is intimidating or assaulting you or DC he can be forced out much quicker.

Hi

Got a 30 min free appointment today, so these points are really helpful.

Part of the reason for not wanting to go myself is I don't feel I could trust him to keep the house presentable for potiential buyers etc. Also, can't afford to pay mortgage and for a flat etc. i'd thought it he moved it would push him into sorting the job situation rather than just sitting around.

I'm bearing in mind the issues about his behaviou. He isn't violent but he can behave strangely at times which makes things uncomfortable to say the least.

Thanks everyone