I was just really mean.

[ImASlowCooker]

to my sister :( have name changed.

Am just so sick of it though. She is in a shit relationship with a twat who is awful to hera nd he kid and she just takes it and I want her to be strong and she never is.

And (really selfishly) after years, I have had enough of listening to how bad he is when hes left her, then the next day what an angel he is when hes come crawling back

He treats her like shit and she dotes on him like a child.

It his birthday and she wants us all to go out to the local play and pub but i have alot more kids, she has one so to go sit at a table to celebrate this fuckwits birthday will cost me about £60. plus a gift for him

then shes going on about taking them in the play bit, another fiver per child.

its not her fault i know, but i have no interest in this man.

And it just seems sad, he trying to get the family together to celebrate a grown mans birthday. when its DHs birthday it just is, we don't try and make everyone comeout for dinner and a play place.

i think im just bitter because its HIM.

a few days ago he had left her, she was in pieces, he was never coming back and he wouldn't get 'a fucking penny' from him.

and yet 2 days later we are palnning his birthday dinner.

have you said anything or is the question do we think you are mean becuase you think he's a twat?

i think your a twat if you haven'tsaid anything

i was just being awkward saying we wont be going to the play area and shes daft for setting up a play party for a grown man, she says its for her kid, but its not its for his benefit.

and she'll be paying for the 3 of them - he spends all his wages on weed and poker

Have you told her exactly your issues with him? If she's as blinded by him as you say, she might just think you're being awkward, and she may lack the confidence to stand up to him. If she knows other people think he's an absolute thundertwunt then she might be less likely to take his crap.

So it sounds like he came back for the birthday loot and will be out the door again soon.

You can support your sister, but it sounds like celebrating HIM crosses the line for you.

Don't go at all then. And it is a good lesson for your dc, even at early ages, to sometimes say 'no thanks' and the world doesn't come to an end. Plan something for your own dfamily on that date and claim full schedule.

If your dsis won't let that pass without challenge, then let her know what your boundaries are concerning her man-child and your self-respect. Just because she won't/can't make boundaries (or recognize the concept of self-respect) doesn't preclude you from doing so.

Just suggestion-not ordering anyone about-disclaimer.

YANBU - I cannot stand my Dads wife for this reason, so if he wants a family outing he goes with her or with us, and grandkids, his choice.

When I was going out with a person my family didnt like I knew I couldnt force them to spend time together so I picked my battles!