Would You?

[ShouldI]

I have the chance to go out with a gorgeous bloke who is 4 yrs older then me (he is 23, i am 19) We get on so well that I know it will become pretty serious very quickly.

There is a catch. He has two young daughters (under 3) who he is fighting for custardy of.

Would I be mad to get involved with him so young? Its not a case of a short lived thing - if we did get together it would be serious and probably for a long long time.

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If you did and he won - could you take on 2 girls under 3 ??

I think i would yes.

but be prepared for a possibly very tough time. he;'ll be under a lot of stress... the kids will be going through a big upheaval... his ex may not be pleasant (pure speculation!)

can you handle all possibilities?

No-one can answer that one for you, depends if you are strong enough to deal with it. But you need to be very very sure you want this long term not just for a bit of fun as there are children involved and they have already seen 1 break-up.

Not totally relevent, but do you have any children?

Hi shouli,
I am 23 and met dh when i was 20, he has 3 kids age 12, 9 and 6.

Think seriously before geting involved, it can be very hard work being a step mum and being in the midle of a custady battle. But if you realy think it will work then go for it. Cant realy tell you what to do, but if you do get together with him it could change your life compleatly. It can be rewarding but can also be very tough on you.

Good luck!

He is gorgeous but what about his personality?

He is everything a girl could want - his personality is just awesome.. I would love to grow old with him.

Waterfall I don't have kids although I do have younger cousins who I am very involved with so kids aren't that new or scary to me

His relationship with his X is very bad (They aren't on speaking terms from what I gather - I don't wanna pry)

He was a stay at home dad for his kids for ages (from at least the youngests birth - she is 1)until him and his X split up so I think he stands a fairly good chance of getting them but who knows with the court system?

I think what's worrying me most is the thought of (possibly) being a stepmum so young, or at least being a fairly big part in their lives.

If I did decide to go for it would be for the long haul because I realise it wouldn't be fair on the girls.

I've always wanted to be a mum quite young but this is a bit younger then planned

it isn't as simple as just being a mum though. they aren't your kids... does he want more, if you wanted one of your own?

if things are acrimonious between him and his ex it may be worth waiting a while... at least until custody is sorted out

I don't plan on jumping in with 2 feet yet. I am still considering all options.

He has said he would like more kids in the future but who knows?

At the moment I am still weighing up everything before I even consider taking it further. Just mates is better then not seeing him at all

yes... take it slowly and see how it goes. if he is as nice as you say then he'll be happy to wait as well