Hi all
Really after some advice - am I overreacting? Expecting too much? I dont know. All I know is, I, and my husband, are not partcularly happy at present. We've been together for nearly 10 years, and married for 7. We have two children, aged 2.
Our biggest problem is my husbands selfish streak. His priority in life is football and everything that comes with it (drinking, playing, coaching etc). It takes up most of our weekend. We both work full time so, in my opinion, we should make the most of our weekends with the twins. Instead, its me arranging things for us to do, without him. He has made it clear that without football, he has nothing, he wont give it up and I should just get used to doing things on my own at the weekend. Which makes me feel really wanted as you can imagine! Nothing has changed over the years. When he goes out, he stays at friends or his brothers, then goes straight to football and comes home that evening. This has caused so many problems over the last 10 years. he doesnt seem interested in us but when I challenge him, he says he is and he'll make more of an effort (which lasts a week or two and then we are back to the same old routine of going out drinking, playing football etc). I get really upset when I think of friends and family all doing things as a family and I am stuck at home. I could take them out to the zoo and stuff like that but its hard to do alone with young twins. I want him to be interested but I;ve asked so many times but he just wont change. Another spanner in the works is his recent driving ban for being over the limit. This is an idea of how irresponsible he is - thought nothing of getting in his car after drinking. On yet another night out.
This really is the tip of the iceberg. I am so low all the time, I cry far too much than is healthy. It makes me sad for the way we used to be (before the twins came along). I really dont think he likes his life as it is any more. All I want is a nice family life instead of a part time husband and father who, when he is there, is in a bad mood, snappy with the children and generally not someone i want to be around any more. Its hard - I now know he will never change. His priorities in life are not us. He's made that clear. I just dont know what to do now - the thought of leaving equally makes me feel relieved and terrified. We're not good together for the twins sake. I dont want them subject to any more arguing. As for sitting down and talking about it - been there so many times over the years, I've no energy for it any more. The house and the atmosphere is much more peaceful when I am alone with the twins. I dont know.... how do I start to move on? How do I leave? how do I be on my own again?