dh might lose job... enraged!

[allhallows]

Today dh told me he might lose his job. I've surprised myself (& him) by being unsupportive & furious. What's wrong with me?!

Have you calmed down yet? I think you need to take a deep breath and go and talk.

Try to establish what the issue is, what is the likelihood he really will lose his job, is there anything he can do to avoid it?

Then try and come up with a contingency plan - you have to think you can get through this together - how can you make ends meet and at least pay the bills if this does happen. Is there anyone that can help you. It's Christmas coming up, worst case scenario you get Christmas jobs to bring in something. I don't know, I don't know your financial commitments but you need to sit down and think hard about it.

I know you know all this and you are scared but I'm sure you will feel calmer if you talk it through and pull together.

But presumably, right now, he doesn't know what he is going to do about it! He's only just found out he might lose his job. Not even that he has lost his job.
If you had just found out that there were redundancies at your company, and you went home, upset to tell your partner, and he shouted at you and demanded that you tell him what you were going to do about it, I bet you'd be pretty miffed too.
I've been in that situation and been in relationships with men in that situation and it is very upsetting but you can't be angry with them! It's really not fair.

I feel really daft now trying to give advice to someone older and wiser than me

I probably sound really mean. I do understand how you feel.

no, aloha. you're spot on.

gobble, being older doesn't at all mean being wiser!

I think I can handle anger but not the truth. There will be nothing i can do about it. I can scarcely run over to his office and rant at the DG, can I? much as i'd love to, the cretin!

I'd be fantasising about burning his house down tbh!
It might well not happen. If you apologise to your dh and explain a bit he might fill you in now.

guess what?! i can hear dh snoring downstairs! he must have fallen asleep over his FT or something.

sigh of relief! no uncomfortable "discussions" tonight, then...

i've got the worst indigestion.

You're angry because this wasn't in your "plan" and you have no control over this! You feel helpless and understandably worried about finances.
Now take a step back look at each other, the kids- what's the worst thing that could happen to you? Someone gets very ill, or dies or one of you leaves...........none of those things have happened you still have your kids and your dh and your health and your home. In this country you will always have a roof over your head and food to eat ( albiet not much). People lose their jobs all the time these days there is no such thing as a job for life. As long as you keep talking to banks etc and are reasonable in trying to agree things they will go out of their way to help you keep paying etc
Calm down -I understand that feeling of fear and and anger- my dh was made redundant and s lost 2 jobs in 1 year- and to cap it all he had an affair! ( kind of brought on by the redundancy thing/ loss of self esteem mid-life crisis thing)the point is things happen in life- but you will survive this. Your dh is probably feeling pretty low at the moment- get your head together and like others have said explain your feelings and work together on this. Together you'll get through it things will change but if you are together you will help each other through.I hope it will not happen but even if it doesn't are there issues between you that need looking at before they become a huge problem? Don't push him away bring him close and support him- he needs you now just as you need him. Good luck honey.