Relate Marriage Counselling experiences

[9stonewanabe]

Hi newbie here
I was just wondering if any of you have tried Relate and how you got on. DH and I had our first meeting and we are waiting to be given our own counsillor for our future weekly sessions.
Lots of tears in first meeting but really wanting to get started with proper sessions. Problem is we can only do Saturdays as DH travels so I have no idea how long we will have to wait.
In the meantime, I am feeling very down, lonely and like it's all going to end.
Background - married 18 years with 2 children.

Could do with some happy endings:)

All i can say is that after our first consultation we had to wait 6 weeks before the sessions started.

I would like to give you a happy ending, but sorry i can't, but i think that was mainly becasue it was over in my Ex'x mind even before we went to relate.

Good luck, I know some people have success stories.

Thanks Jumpforjoy
six weeks seems like a lifetime at the moment with the atmosphere as it is. It's been 2 weeks since our first session, so I hope we hear sooner rather than later.
I'm sorry it didn't work for you and your Ex. I think DH wants to make it work, but like most men he doesn't communicate well so who knows what he is really thinking. I worry that he is just feeling guilty about leaving me and the kids and is just going along to say that he has tried? I must stop thinking so much, I wish I could just switch off my brain, especially at night!

Hi 9stone I have had a very good experience with Relate myself. My DH and I were in a bad way but have now been going for months and I have recently felt like I have the 'old him' back again, the guy I used to love so much who somehow changed into someone I didn't like much at all.

We are gradually getting back into each other. It has been hard and upsetting but now feels worth all the effort.

I can't stay on to chat now as I'm doing tea at the moment, but wanted to quickly add my bit. Hope you sleep better tonight.

Thank you so much loves2cycle, I know that there are no guarantees, but it's nice to hear that it does work for some. Thank you for taking the time out to reply.
Just finished the boys dinner. DH just phoned from airport to say he arrived OK, I told him I loved him and he said thank you. I was hoping for "I love you 2" reply, but for whatever reason, he doesn't feel he can give me any form of affection and that is what I am finding so hard and confusing.
Hurry up Relate!

Relate brought us together but only because the counsellor said I had anger problems and needed separate sessions. Even my husband said that wasn't the case and they said that they wouldn't see us together so we said we weren't going. It turned into 'us against the relate woman'! It helped that my dh wanted the relationship to work and so did I. A year later we are much happier. I thought we would be divorced by now. It's not perfect but we are working at it. At least your dh acknowledged your love in a positive way. My husband wouldn't even hold my hand, hope that makes you feel better!

Thank you spanky2. Here's hoping that in a year from now I can look back and say my marriage is better. The other option doesn't bear thinking about with two young children.

Hi 9stone - I think you'll hear very mixed stories from people that have had relationship counselling - some very positive and some negative. So it is hard to know how other people's stories relate to yours or how yours will go, as it so depends on the issues and you two as individuals.

Do you want to explain what your issues are, to help you think about them prior to the counselling?