OH reading my emails.

[paternal]

Is it right for your OH to check and read your e-Mails???

I don't sign out of my account because I have nothing to hide & if I did I think then she may think I have something to hide.

My Ex is on my FB friends so when she updates I get an e-mail (not just her, but everyone) their is no emotion to the e-mails. And she is crazy because I didn't tell her about the e-mails.

I don't care about her reading the emails so much, it's the lack of trust.

Am I wrong?

sign out if you don't want her to read them.

Tbh, if you didn't sign out and your e-mail account was just sitting there when I went to the pc I would probably have a nosey. If not, no, I would not actively try to read your emails. Think I need a bit more background to be able to offer full advise - how long have you been with your OH? How long since you split with your ex?

talk to your girlfriend about why she doesn't trust you when they are clearly generic facebook emails, not an exchange of personal emails between you and your ex.

Do you think your girlfriend actually has a problem with you being facebook 'work-of-the-devil' friends with your ex?

can you disable the notice from your ex?

I don't think you're wrong, I wouldn't check DH's emails, nor does he check mine - regardless of whether or not they're up on the screen unattended.

Just change the notifications so you don't get any.

I think it depends on the character of you both - mine reads my emails, and I just beg him to set them as unread again after so that I don't miss anything important :)

He would happily have me read his to him I think (so as to stop wear and tear on his eyeballs), but I know nothing important goes into his account so I can't be bothered to look in there.

Why are you being notified of status updates? Crazy talk.

I read my husband's emails. He can't complain as I set the account up for him, and the password and he frequently asks me to send emails for him.

The emails he gets are very dull though :o

Also I work so am not around to socialise in the day. I am self-employed so don't have any work friends either.

DS either has after school activities or is at CM during the week except Fridays when he is usually so exhausted he is not fit for guests :o

Oops. Wrong thread.

No. It's not on.

One thing that consistently horrifies me about Mumsnet is the casual way in which women seem to snoop on their partners - reading e-mails, texts, going through pockets e.c.t.

Any op articulating the mereist hint of paranoia about her partners committment to monogamy is encouraged by other posters to to snoop and gather as much 'information' on him without his knowledge as she can.

I always sit there aghast. It is NOT ok to read peoples private correspondence without their permission.

At the same time, if you are leaving stuff out and open on the computer, maybe she can't help but see it sometimes.

Do you know why that is MYODD?

Every single time a woman on here has had an uneasy feeling about her partner, her instincts have been spot on, do you really think that, having been lied to and made to feel paranoid, she shouldn't look for evidence? Being lied to whilst knowing that something is going on is enough to drive the stongest and most confident woman mad, we've seen it on here hundreds of times.

It's very much on to do whatever it takes to find out the truth, it's the only way most of the time when people are being decieved.

I've never had reason to snoop, not once in nigh on 30 years, but I would do it in a heartbeat if I ever had the merest inkling of something going on.

I do take your Malificence. Being made to feel as though you are paranoid and going mad is a particularly cruel form of mental abuse.

But I still don't agree that it is acceptable to snoop.

The way I see it, if a woman feels uneasy, she has other choices. She can explain to her partner directly how she feels and ask for reassurance. She can ask her partner specifically if anything is going on. And if she doesn't trust her partner to tell her the truth then surely that is a deal breaker in itself.

Marriage is supposed to be about love and trust. Not a re-enactment of the Cold War.

Sorry, that was supposed to be I do take your point.

I think people confuse privacy and secrecy.

I also think that reading emails, texts and the like is just a silly woman's way of finding out what's going on with her partner. For christ's sake have a conversation. All this "evidence gathering" doesn't actually change the outcome. Snooping about already means your relationship is in trouble.

I'd be extremely pissed off if I found out my gf was looking through my e-mails/texts whatever.
Could probably forgive it once with a serious conversation afterwards but only once

Have to agree with Malificence. Women only snooop on their partners because they feel they are being lied to, so what's the point in justing asking them if they are screwing someone else? Do you really think they're just going to fess up?

And it should be noted that it's not just women that snoop My Dh is guilty of snooping on me on MN, so it works both ways.