Finding life after divorce - with young children

[whereismumhiding]

Hi, I wondered how women with young children found new relationships after divorce?

I'm 39 (40 next month) with 3 gorgeous DC (3,6,8) and have a great group of friends, most of whom are married but good single women friends too. I went through a traumatic divorce from an appalling man 2 years ago and spent most of last year healing. (He is still very difficult)

But I have very little time to myself and even less to go out (One weekend a fortnight, with little money to live on).

I've dated a few guys, but whilst I met a couple nice men who are now friends, I also realised that it's a jungle out there and so many men are single for a reason.

Is it truly possible to find a geniune wonderful man second time around? And since I wouldnt want to introduce anyone to my children for months and months, how is it practical?

Hi,

My only answer is with fabulous support.

I had amazing familial support - sitters, going out with my brothers (who I'm very close to in RL), my friends (while my family babysat for me) and being introduced to new people through people I knew already.

Money was an issue too - its not always about nights out but when people know you're "out there"; in terms of meeting new people they tend to invite you to their parties etc.

It just takes one connection but u have to put yourself out there. I did and we're coming up tp 4.5 yrs now :)

Anyone else have any advice?

Not really any advice, but here is an abreviated version of my tale. My ex-H left us 9 years ago when DCs were 3.5 & 1. He was & still is difficult. I don't have much money, work full-time & DS is autistic spectrum. Sounds dire, but actually we have fun. I haven't found the next Mr PBBugsy, but I've dated a fair bit & had 2 relationships.

I have stopped looking to find someone else, but have focussed on doing things that I enjoy when I have free time and things that the 3 of us enjoy when we are together.

I am happy & fulfilled most of the time & if I happen across the next Mr PBBugsy, then that is an added bonus.

I not that this is not possible for many (if not most) people, but I have an au pair, and she has been an incredible support in terms of childcare, babysitting, and generally being a great 'second mum' when I'm not there. And far more financially viable than a nanny.

Anyway, it has helped me and I'm very grateful for her presence in our lives.

not? *know

Mine are a bit older (12 and 14 now) and I stumbled across my soulmate 18m ago...so yes, yours might well be out there somewhere! We met online although it turned out that we had loved about 3 miles apart for two years and could easily have sat opposite each other on the tube!

Hi thanks MNers. It is hard isnt it? I have such little free time.

Just to add - I split with my XH when my DC were 5 and 3. I was fortunate in that he had the children every other weekend without fail and I had a fab single female friend, so she and I hit the town when I was child-free. I was a bit younger (31) went on a few dates, but none of them met the DC. I met my current DP after about a year, when out in a club. He's divine and we are still together - coming up to 15 years. He had 2 DC himself so I have 2 fab stepchildren - not easy at times, but then neither were my two and they all get on so well now, it's lovely to see! Hang in there girl...and best of luck.

Thanks Susiefen that's a lovely story x