i need to learn to relax.

[OhForBoonessSake]

new man. 1st since EXP and childbirth 2 years ago. we have DTD but we were both drunk (me moreso than him, i think) and it was dark, all undercovers.so i am seeing him again and i am nervous about him seeing me and also about, well, whether i am any good really. EXP is the only person i have had sex in a relationship with and towards the end i really lost my libido, so sex became very, routine. so i need to get past this in my head and just relax. i will be having a drink but i am worried i will still be going through all these thoughts in my head rather than just enjoying myself whn it coems to it.

bump- anyone?

I was married to my ex for 23 years and was terrified the first time with someone else. It really doesn't matter though - just relax and enjoy it. if you and this new man are going to be a long term thing then you will love each other and it will all be fine and if you're not then just look at is as practice!

that's a good way of thinking of it as practise. not sure how this is going to go TBH, it's very casual and early days ATM but it is complicated by the fact that although he is new to me in a sexual sense, i have known him for years, since childhood infact and i have it hanging over my head that if i am a complete dead loss in bed, i will have to see him again socially and have him knowing this about me. a drunken one night stand i can cope with being crap but no excuses if I'm sober.

Don't have too much to drink and don't try to perform, it's about you having fun too.

yep, only having a couple as we are staying in with a take away and a dvd. i dont think i could perform anyway, im not good at that sort of thing. I'm just worried about being boring.

Oh it won't be - you're both new to each other so even old moves'll be new moves.

yes you're probably right. i just hope i dont freeze up with nerves. honestly, you would think i was a first timer or something. i have two kids fgs!!