Probably over reacting/thinking this.

[inspireddance]

My DP and I are in a LDR which will end with me moving in with him on Monday. Genearly we see each other every weekend, and I had been saying that it would still be good for me to go visit this weekend so I could get settled in and figure out my route to work.

We had a wobble this week when he didn't call me for two days. He's apologised and just said he's been really busy with work ect. I have asked twice now about what he wants to do about this weekend. I have suggested I go up Saturday night to give him some time to just relax and be alone, I even said that if he wanted the weekend to himself just to say(This will be the first time DP has lived with someone), the answer I get is 'I dont mind you can do what ever you want'.

He does have a tendency to say things like "you can if you want" so I'm not sure what this means. I don't want to not go and he thinks I'm angry or playing games, as that will make moving in harder! Nor do I want to go and seem pushy/clingy.

What does this mean? Does he want me there? Does he not?

I know this is minor compared to most of the threads on here but I really don't know what to do.

He doesn't care one way or the other whether you are there this weekend. He's probably knackered and doesn't really want to have an angsty convo with you about it.

FWIW I would not go myself and give him a chance to miss me. But what you have said does not indicate any real problem with your relationship.

doesn't sound to me like you're ready to live together. sorry

are you changing jobs too?

Transfer, on his insistence, which has been planned since last September. So not moving in is not an option though can be reviewed in 5 months.

We've spent weeks living together at a time and all is fine, though my thought is he's just getting a little nervous about it all.

Thanks whomovedmychcocolate that was the consensicous of my friends as well, is is very stress at the moment due to deadlines on his work. I don't believe there's a major problem, just wondering what to do this weekend. Don't want him to think I'm playing games by not going.

Maybe he's a bit nervous about how you are feeling about it, and wants you to show some enthusiasm for the idea which is why he's apparently pulling back a bit?

Now I'm overthinking it! Maybe he just wants a bit of reassurance that you do really want to do this. I think you should keep your plans as they were, definitely don't start playing games if you do want this to work.

have you got a moving date on your flat?
I do not see why the moving could not be put off a week. It is not a big deal really. If he has an important deadline it may be helpful to put it off so he can be more relaxed and help you with the removal and all

OP you have saying that

• it would still be good for me to go visit this weekend
• I have suggested I go up Saturday night to give him some time to just relax
• I said that if he wanted the weekend to himself just to say

too many options! And too confusing. He has a sneaking suspicion that one of these options is correct and the other two are wrong, so he's not going to choose.

The big event in his life is that you are coming to live with him. Whether that starts on friday, sat, sun or mon doesn't really make much difference....

As I start my job Tuesday and it's 100 miles from where I am currently living not moving is not an option.

Just wanted to thank people for their comments. Decided I could do with a last weekend of 'freedom' so told him I wouldn't be up but would see him Monday, and it's all fine. He's back to his old self tonight so I really do think it was work combined with being a bit nervous about such a big change.

You stressed at him for not calling you for 2 days ?

'nuff said

You sorted it out ?

(cross posted)

Well, thank God for that

it saves me from posting the ubiquitous "get a grip" sentiment