How do I get my DH to have arguments?

[fairyfart]

Have been together for nearly 11 years, and can honestly say that in all that time we have NEVER had a proper argument.
We just seem to avoid having a blazing row where we air our grievances.
We are like that couple in some old B& W film with the typical British stiff upper lip attitude who just brush over any differences and pretend that all is okay.
I think this is killing our relationship though. We never say what we really feel and just seem to tiptoe round each other. I have tried on numerous occassions to get him to 'talk' to me, but he is not able, or unwilling to express his feelings.
So what can I do? We can't carry on like this, it just feels so unhealthy.

everything, Wasn't actually going to tell DH that the restaurant was going to be a big last talk night, was just going to spring in on him halfway thru, sort of catch him unawares. are you still with DH?

Well shout then. If you think it's essential to a good relationship. Or try just talking to him if something needs saying that badly! How does he react if you tell him you have a problem?

I've been in relationships where my partner enjoyed a good argument.

I didn't.

I'd withdraw, start talking quietly, stop talking, and eventually walk away.

Being screamed at distressed me, and made me unhappy. They used to feel better afterwards and often wanted to "make up"; which promptly started another argument as I didn't want to have sex with someone who'd been screaming at me.

It might be that he's withdrawing from a confrontational approach; doesn't want to separate from you, but doesn't want "the talk" which often from this chap's perspective anyway felt like being talked at.

I hope it turns out OK for you.