Advice on new relationship

[Joony]

I've been seeing a really nice guy for nearly three months now, he lives with his mum so spends his weekends at my place, I also have a young son and find it difficult to get the two of them to bond, b/f doesn't seem too interested.

Probem I am having is he has not told anyone about our relationship, and in particular his son (who's an adult), he goes to see him but hasn't mentioned me at all and this bothers me a lot, he says he doesn't have to discuss his personal life with anyone and that I am ott but the other niggle is that I gave him a birthday card and he has left it at my place so clearly has no intention of taking it home. Am I being ott, is it early days and should I wait and see what happens, he is great in every other way, thoughts please as I am feeling a bit miffed.

No definitely not married.

If he can't be open and honest with you now can you see it going any further? Plus if he's not prepared to make any effort with your dc I'd be calling it a day.

Something funny is going on. I take it that for some reason he is ashamed, or has something to hide.

Has the whole relationship been conducted at your house, or out socially? That would get alarm bells ringing for me. If so then if not married, there certainly might be another woman!

Have it out with him!! But if it were me I would be showing him the door.

Good luck

Friends have told me I should wait and see how things go as it's not quite three months yet, he's a very quiet person in general. He knows I'm peed off about it all but seems to think I should accept that is the way he is and he doesn't seem to think he has done anything wrong, don't want to end the relationship at this point as we get on very well in every other way but I just feel annoyed that he doesn't want to tell his son all about me but he says they don't talk about their personal lives....

No we go out also, when I can get a sitter, I know for a fact he is not married as a friend of a friend knows his ex wife.

I don't think he is seeing another woman but I do think he is holding back in which makes me think he is waiting to see if it works out or not before he tells son etc....part of me thinks there is nothing wrong with that but the emotional side of me thinks you should want to show me off!

HAve you met his mother or any of his friends? Have you been to his/mother's house?

I think he's being sensible if indeed he is waiting to introduce his son. Tbh, your relationship is 3 months old, your son shouldn't be involved at all. Maybe you are expecting too much re your son, and that's scaring him a bit?

No haven't met his mother, he comes to mine so have no reason to see her etc.

My son has to be involved as I can't get a sitter very often so it's usually a Sat night at mine, takeway, few drinks etc. I know what you are saying about my son but I feel he could make more of an effort and my son has kicked off a few times about feeling left out etc, but my son has only ever had me and unfortunately I made him the centre of my life and vice versa.

There's no unfortunately about it??
How old is your son? I have 2 dc, age 2 and 6, and when I first met dp I had the same babysitting issues as you. I made him wait til they were in bed asleep before coming round, and he left before they woke. There is no need for them to be involved with each other.
In what way can your son feel 'left out' if you wait til he's in bed? You said he was young so I assumed a toddler, apologies if I'm wrong

I think perhaps he might be giving it some time to see how it goes before mentioning it to people? I know that I have a six month rule that will definitely be enforced when I start dating again because it just doesn't work for me introducing them to the children early on. Seems that people form the idea that you're looking for some sort of replacement, when really you're only checking compatability. With older children too, sometimes there's more difficulty as it can be hard to accept your parents moving on.

I'm pretty honest and open about this now, saying that things might go slow in the beginning due to not wanting to mix my home life and my dating life at all, and having limited time. Sounds like you may have to be upfront and ask him about this behaviour? It's the quickest way to find out what's going on.

He's 12 and tbh this is my friend not me who is having this problem but I'm fluxed as to what to advise her!

Her son is 12, has no bedtime routine at all so is up until the adults go to bed, I think it's unfortunate because she has made her son her life and up until very recently he was sleeping in her bed with her, obviously now Mr Perfect has came along so is feeling quite rightly left out a bit.

Oh come off it. Your friend? Right

Sleeping in her bed? At that age?

My dd did feel a bit left out when I started seeing dp but it was all resolved by making sure I spent time alone with her and that we all spent time together. Plus the fact that it was a long distance thing and we only saw dp once a month. All worked out fine.

Erm, yes it is actually, my best friend, I have been in a relationship with my partner for nearly nine years.

My daughter is 25 and I could never raise a child without having a proper bedtime routine, I did warn her that when a guy came along she would have this problem.

Then why not say that from the off?
I'm sorry but I don't believe a word. A quick search shows all your posts are about blow jobs and escorts.

OMG, BooBooGlass, I don't think so, if you go and look I was replying to a thread on BJ's and there's lots of replies there not just mine.

As for all my posts, I only joined her about half an hour ago!

I don't really care if you believe me or not and perhaps I should have been honest from the start but hey ho, there you go, does it really matter if it is about me or my friend, I am only asking for some opinions, perhaps you need to go lie down in a dark room and take a chill pill?