Why do people get married

[blondegirl1979]

I'm fairly new to this site, but I have a genuine question for anyone who was interested enough to read my post, and that is: Why do people get married ?

Almost every post on here results in the op being told/suggested to leave the husband, women (in general) seem to all suspect their husband of something whether founded or unfounded.

So that is my question, I understand marrying for religious beliefs, which doesnt get mentioned to much on here actaully.

I myself (and this is only my opinion) do not see the need for marrage, I spent 10 years with someone and we didnt get married, we had a joint mortgage, which I think shows as much comitment to the relationship as marrage would have.

I'm not looking to start an arguement here, am just after opinions, and wonder if maybe this will help some people to remember why it is they got married in the first place.

Anyway, thanks for your time !

I got married at 23 because we were in love and wanted to make a public, permanent commitment. We had already bought a house together, and were planning children at some stage. We had a fairly simple registry office wedding and I didn't change my name, but it was a good excuse to bring family and friends together for a party.

Being married ended up being important for various reasons: we lived in several different countries, and arranging visas together is much easier if you are married. It also clarifies entitlement to company benefits like health insurance and annual flights home. OK, those things won't apply to most people, but you never know.

When DH died, being married meant I had automatic rights to register his death, arrange for his body to be brought home, and deal with all the aftermath. It also meant I didn't pay any inheritance tax. Obviously, those are all reasons that no-one would have at the front of their mind when they get married (unless they marry when one partner is seriously ill - there are good reasons why a lot of people do this) but they are nonetheless important.

spidookly, true, but then I doubt very much if the people in relationships would be posting anything different if cohabiting. It would be the same old stories, just without a wedding ring. To be cynical, at least with marriage, there may be a chance of financial recompense if things go wrong (although, if a person is the one who is set to lose financially, I can see why they wouldn't get wed).

'there are differences between marriage and civil partnership. civil partnership can take place "behind closed doors". marriage has to be "witnessed". i also think there are no "bans" published for civil partnership. the wording of civil partnership vows is completely open whilst the choice of wording for marriage is limited by legal restrictions. i hope someone will correct me if i'm wrong.'

I'm correcting you - you are wrong. A Civil Partnership does not take place behind closed doors - two witnesses are required.
You are correct in that the wording for marriages is prescribed (although there is a choice). Not sure about religious ceremonies (some of which are not legally recognised in this country).
There are no banns published for CPs but there are also no banns published for marriages that take place outside the Church of England. Everyone else (CPs and Marriages) has to give notice at the Register Office in their district (in most cases).

Laydee's right - Civil PArtnerships are marriages in all but name - you still ahve to have the witnesses and the legal procedure, and the Notice of intent.
you just aren't allowed to do it in a religious building or have any religious content.

I have not read the whole thread.

I got married for life, there is bugger all you can do if your dh does not want to be married to you anymore as he has found a better to stick his into or what ever. At the end of the day who wants to live with someone who does not want to be with you? Who really wants to force someone to spend their life with someone they no longer like?

Let both parties go and try and find some happiness if one does not want to be with the other.

Let the abused be free to try and find some happiness.

Let the kids, neighbours, friends and family find some peace and let waring couples leave each other the hell alone and go their seperate ways.

I'm not married yet (only been with DP a few months) but would like to be, once confident that the relationship is right.

For me, it's because I'd like that security in place before we have children. I'd like reassurance that he is committed to building a family unit together, and willing to sign the paperwork to say so.

It's not so much what marriage gives you, although the protection if one of us dies would be valuable, it's more that it's tangible evidence of our commitment to each other.

"I got married because I wanted to be married.

It mattered to me. It still does.

My personal belief system involves marriage before children. I make no judgement about people who feel differently, it is not a competiton or a 'my way is right, your way is wrong' thing. It is an individual choice."

I couldn't agree more. Marriage is a personal thing and I don't judge people on whether they are married or not, but we got married because we wanted to make a commitment to each other in front of our families and friends. This was nearly 30 years ago and we still love each other. We were meant to be together forever.

one of the main reasons we got married was for the spousal visa, if we hadn't gotten married then we couldn't have been together or I wouldv'e had to move to SA and I am fairly sure that if we did that we would never have been able to afford to come back not even for a visit!
Being married is something that has ALWAYS been important to me, being married and having children.
I had a long term relationship prior to being with DH and for me it was the dealbreaker, he wasn't interested in being married even tho he kept saying he might change his mind, he never did.
Everyone is different, if being with the person you love is enough for you - then good for you; if you want to be married - then good for you.