Sick child.. cracks are widening.

[Lucy85]

DP had an affair last year, long story but stress of baby that NEVER slept.
Found out end of 2010 reason why never slept was very serious illness.
Now he has given up work to look after child, I am trying to work.
We are both very very worried.

But. He cannot seem to manage to think or plan about the childcare in terms of medicines or social activity. He is permanently really unpleasant to me - I mean really horrible. He talks down to me, he is always angry with me and he won't even watch TV with me. For my part I cannot get out of bed in the morning - utterly exhausted. Yes that is crap of me I agree. But to be so nasty all day every day is OTT.

I think I want a divorce but what to do about DC?

I agree iso what he does is up to him but maybe if you can get some support for yourself Lucy then you will be in a better place to cope with the current situation and make decisions about your future.

They do social workers for posh people too :) If your child has a health problem or disability there is a team set up to help you access the correct services such as respite.

Also if your child's health needs are very high you can sometimes get nursing/carers support at home through the community nursing team

lucy you can get help from social services because your child with a serious condition counts as either a disabled child or a child in need. nothing to dow ith being posh and dont let them tell you otherwise.

get onto your GP and HV too.

get support for you then you can tackle your H and those issues

there may also be local hospice you can access too. look up childrens hospice in your local area and call them to self refer- you may need paed/hospital support for this but call them your self and find out what services they offer. criteria is foten with regard to survival rates for the condition (sorri to bemorbid but using this line which you gave "low rate survival" can get you access to the hospice for respite and help and support)

hospice also has counsellors to speak to you and your H.

outreach workers can offer you rpactical support.

lucy- have read your posts and just wanted to add a thought. It sounds to me that the problems actualy started at birth of dc not at diagnosis of illness (althought this has clearly made this worse). This can be very common in a marriage and affairs at around the end of a pregnancy/new baby are unfortunatley very common. If you want to try and work things out find your local realte centre and ask for an experienced counsellor( be clear you don't want a trainee) and they will be able to help.
Hugs

Hi Lucy. Do you have just one child? Can I ask why you went back to work and not your husband? It's pretty clear he doesn't want to be at home with the baby and isn't any good at it, either.

Had to financially. He can take a few months on full pay, I can't .