I have a very good female friend that I haven't spoken to for a couple of months since we had a major falling out. It's a long story, but basically I let her move in with me over the summer (we're both students) but a week after moving in she left abruptly and dramatically in the middle of the night when she came home to find me sat with my now boyfriend on the sofa (absolutely nothing going on between us at that point) and went completely mad saying I was lying to her, and that we must have been together ages. This made us both really mad, her obviously because she thought I was lying to her, and me that she would make such an assumption and that she would react that way anyway. The whole thing turned very nasty. She left in the middle of the night, having called her ex housemates to come and help her get her stuff. To get at her I started saying that I wished she'd just admit she was a lesbian, and couldn't deal with me having a boyfriend Before anyone flames me, I'd had this suspicion for a long time, she always had crushes on women and was always talking about what it would be like to sleep with a woman, and she seemed to almost deny her past relationships with men, saying she was a virgin even though she detailed what she'd done with these men. She just seemed very unsure of her sexuality. It didn't help that the two friends who helped her move out were also lesbians. We haven't spoken to each other in months after that, and I am deeply ashamed of what I said, although I was extremely angry at the time. Anyway, today I decided that it was silly not to talk and I invited her over to make up. We told each other what had been happening, and she admitted she'd started seeing someone, then said it was a woman. She also said she was jealous of my boyfriend. I have to say that although I have suspected it all along, I was very uneasy about it, and my reaction has actually shocked me. I don't consider myself to be homophobic, but I just can't believe that she is happy doing this. This is what makes me feel such an awful person. I know I should be happy for her, but I just feel that this sin't right for her. She has a very traumatic family history, and a history of eating disorders, and, as ashamed as I am to say or even think it, I can't help but feel that this is just another desperate attempt to get her family to notice her, as they make it quite clear to her that she is of very little importance to them, and she has a dangerously low self confidence as a result. I am so worried you are all going to think I'm a terrible homophobe when you read this, but I just need to know whether my reaction to this announcement is normal, or if maybe I am justified in thinking its not right for her? I wish I could just say, well she says she's happy so let her get on with it, but I am just so worried for her.