I don't know where to start... but need to vent

[mummyshreddingnora]

ok so my family have always been fairly close, I have always been the independant one, and sis always more dependant on others - not in a particularly bad way I don't think

anyway - I am starting to be bothered by the lack of help / support I get from family. I have no idea why either - I have always been independant, never asked for help unless absolutely essential, never really had babysitters or anything

sis regularly has my parents baby sitting for short periods here and there .. many many times have I popped in to say hi and her two youngest are there

like I say, it has never bothered me before - I have always felt like I made the choice to move out / get married / have kids, they are my responsibility.

sis live about 5 mins from m&d I live about 20... both married with one car

mum lent sis' husband her car a while back and said something about the weather and him getting to work - he has a motorbike as well, although admitedly he does have further to travel more regularly

I am just feeling a bit shit and tired and low I think (sorry if none of this is making sense!) DS has been ill for a week now and I have been ringing people daily with updates - no one has offered to help in any way that I can think of and I don't think anyone has even called here to see how he is, even though its been a week and for about 5 days he would sleep nowhere except on me, so 3 of those nights I was awake most of the night, before DH would come to the lounge and take over for a few hours so I could sleep before work

I don't know what I am asking if anything and can probably safely blame this waffle on exhaustion and AF arriving too!

feel free to ignore but I feel a little better for writing anyway!

crap that doesn't make any real sense does it!

It does make sense. Just wondering if you have asked for help? Just thinking that if you are so independent, people assume that you can just cope. Whereas, they know your sis needs help IFYSWIM

thats exactly the problem detox - I don't ask! But I wouldn't know what to ask for in the first place

I am now sat here crying too - bloody ridiculous as I bring this all on myself

am going to pull myself together and make some cupcakes with dd before I go insane - will be back later!

When you have called people to update them, how have you told them the information? I'm sure the case is that they just think you can cope and so don't think about offering.

I've had a problem like this myself in the past and ended up yelling at my DP's because they hadn't helped me with DD (who cried constantly until she was about 6 months).

They said that they didn't know I needed any help. If found this really difficult to take but then realised that I need to take responsibility for this and so do try to ask if I need help.
Just realised that I have let this slide a bit and have started to deal with it all myself again

Try and have a think about what you want and then we can move from there.
Maybe you're just shattered and want someone to take the responsibility away from you to let you have a sleep? If that's the case it is understandable and you can look at what and who to ask.

Hope this all makes sense! Enjoy the cupcakes

just been a vague update really - ie been to the doctors again, he's now got a chest infection too.... that type of thing

they knew he wasn't sleeping in his cot, and know I work so must have known I am exhausted?

You are completely right of course, I haven't asked for any help at all - and to be honest wouldn't have known what to ask anyway, am sure I'll be fine in a few days once he lets me have my arms back for some of the day - he is at least sleeping in his cot again, its just draining not being able to do anything with dd as I have literally had him layed on me all week really!