I'll be off the computer for some of hte afternoon, so sorry if I don't reply soon, but I could really, really do with some advice here.
I have a very good friend, who can sometimes be very disparaging or belittling to people she thinks are making a fuss about things that wouldn't bother her. She doesn't suffer fools gladly, which I know can be a good thing, but not when you can be quite mean to them in the process.
She's snapped at me in the past and now I am careful what things I tell her about my worries.
The other thing that makes me really uncomfortable is how she talks to her husband, even in front of other people. Like she thinks he's an imbecile who is incapable of anything 
. He is lovely and works very hard, and is very supportive of her. This is something that I've found hard to witness for a long time now. And she is aware of it...although I'm not sure if she's aware of really how awful it is. She says stuff like 'poor dh, I can be mean to him sometimes, but he just gets things wrong all the time'. And I can't deny that I have wondered at times if she is, in fact, emotionally abusing him
The other day my DH happened to be with their 5yo son and he said to DH 'do you like my dad?' and Dh said 'yes, of course, he's lovely' and he said 'my mum shouts at him all the time and it makes him really sad'.
And that was the end of the conversation. I'm really concerned that if the children are becoming aware of the imbalance of emotional power in the marriage, then I really ought to talk to my friend about it, but I don't know how or when or, even, if it is the right thing to do. I do know that she's essentially a good woman and would want to change her behaviour if she knew how awful it was - I wonder if she's got herself into such a habit of thinking he's a twit and being short of patience that she just can't get out of it. I also wonder if she's jealous - she stopped her degree to have children and now relies on him to earn most of hte family money while she works twice a week in a supermarket.
Has anyone any advice?