ever wondered if your DH/DP is still in love with you?

[DisappointedCow]

have you ever wondered if he is still in love with you? how do you know? i'm a person who likes expressing herself in many different ways to show my DH that i love him, he is the opposite. and these days i feel like i don't exist for him, even if i was walking naked on the street or left and came back the next day he wouldn't notice :(

no actually never. thanks for the question though because it's made me realise i probably take that fact for granted - it's something i have doubted in previous relationships and they've ended up leaving.

yes often i know he cares for me but often wonder whether he is still in love with me

No he makes it perfectly clear and yes I do appreciate it.

disappointed - sometimes people aren't the most affectionate. dh isn't in the most 'traditional' way, but i know he loves me, because of the the things he does for me. i'm sorry you're doubting this about your dh. maybe something else is bothering him? have you talked to him about how you're feeling? asked how he is feeling at the moment? hope things work out.

sheepslikessleep, i know he has some problems at work. my doubts have started long time ago and after reading some posts of somebody telling how they know their partners still love them i realised that he hasn't showed me any "signs" for at least 3 years. i'm sorry to say that but i'm so hungry for love, someone to come and hug and tell me that he missed me or just a kiss for which i don't have to ask :( i did speak to him and he said it's still there, it's obvious but why i don't feel it? he said i'm behaving like a teenager and after marriage things change, no they don't!!! not for me. we have been married for 5 years and have 2 kids. i'm not fat, ugly but i have a very low self esteem due to some problems ages ago and by ignoring me and my feelings he is making me to go backwards to thetime i was nobody :(
sorry, have to moan for some time :(

It's okay, you moan as much as you want :)

I suppose maybe he just doesn't show his emotions the way you do - but it's not good that he seems to think you're being silly over this! I was going to suggest talking to him and letting him know how upset it's making you feel. Say you know relationships change, it's not like you're expecting constant hearts and flowers, but just the little things. If it's possible could you go away for the weekend and leave him with the children? I'm sure he'd realise how much he appreciates you then

Do you get much time together without the children? Would it be worth getting a babysitter in for a "date night" or something like that?

i did tell him i'm upset but again he doesn't see the problem, i told him i don't need flowers and things like that all the time but at least things like: hon you look nice or a stupid hug. i'm afraid we are in the situaton at the moment it's imposible to go out for the two of us. maybe that's what is the problem as well, we don't spend time together, no talking nothing. kids go to sleep at 8 and then he goes and plays on the comp or ps(he is 32 by the way). i did tell him that i don't like him playing all the time so he said it's relaxing him, but not til midnight! i ended up going to sleep befor him. i don't know how long i can carry on like this, as he doesn't see any problem at all!

The initial issue that he isn't very affectionate is not as damning as the fact he doesn't seem to care that this is upsetting you :(

disappointed, i think people in marriages/long term relationships do get in a 'rut' and it's important to recognise that (on both sides). dh is a little like that - he doesn't hug me or tell me he's missed me, rarely gives me a spontaneous kiss. i think he shows his 'love' in more practical ways - he scrapes the ice off my car, makes me a cup of tea in the morning, cooks for me. when we do have 'discussions' about it, he says that he loves me and for a while, he'll be more affectionate, but then it reverts back to less affection, until we have a discussion again. but his dad is the same, and i think it's the way he's been raised. god that looks awful written down, as though he's as cold as ice. he isn't, he makes me happy, makes me laugh, we talk about everything, we connect on so many levels, but affection is never going to be 'his level'. sorry, i'm rambling on, i guess what i'm trying to say is that maybe you need to speak with your dh, go on a 'date night' as bertiebotts says, explain how important it is to you that you feel loved and cared for and how the physical affection makes you feel. maybe he doesn't understand that at the moment.

also, and i am being honest here, are you feeling 'loved up' with him? maybe he isn't picking up on those vibes from you (because you are feeling hurt / worried yourself?). can be a vicious cycle.

good luck

sorry - missed last two posts, as i take too long to write a post myself.

agree with bertiebotts. maybe talk about what you want from the relationship, say you need to talk, say you're not happy at the moment and it's important he listens. sounds like you've done all that. guess he doesn't realise, or appreciate how strongly you feel about this.