over critcal mums

[MoaningMedalllist]

I dunno whether relationships section can be for family as well as romantic so sorry if i've put it wrong

I know there was a similiar thread not too long back, My mum is constantly very critical, I am big, but I am doing something about it and some progress has been made.
she can i feel be cruel in her behaviour, If something i've bought doesn't fit , she'll demand that I try it on infromt of her, my sister & dp & dc
just to go."yeah it don't fit its far too, tight.short etc"
constanlty pokes prods me,in front of people!! goes to her mates 'well I was a good looking,woman & ya nan you probably get there one day'
and last night she was aking me why I don't dress up, I told her because she'll just call me fat until I don't want to go out anymore" she was quite indignant and hurt by this, then ten minutes later whilsat still talking about going out, "be mindful you can't wear what other girls wear!" ...
please give me some tips on how to talk/deal with this I feel i'm going to implode or explode and that my DP may start listening to her and start looking elsewhere tbh.

sorry about the essay its really getting to me

can't you put some distance between you and her?

why spend so much time with her if she's like this??

I live in lol

looking to move in mext month or so

The reason I don explode at her is she has done alot , she let me stay at home when I became a teenage mum, and she helps alot.

so in many ways the good outweighs that bad but I feel like ima have an anuerism soon

Hi MM

Really sorry to hear about you mum being like this. You said above that she has done a lot for you but whatever she has done for you, it doesn't give her the right to say things like that to you or to treat you badly.

It's really tough but you have got to try to stick to your guns and do what suits you but if your relaitonship has been like this with your mum for a long time, you feel like you can't change things overnight but take small steps to build a bit of distance between you so that she treats you with more respect.

You are a grown woman with your own child- you don't need your mum to tell you to try things on or do things if she is just going to put you down. Start saying no and sticking to your guns with small things like this and then you can start building upon it. You don't have to be confrontational or rude, just be firm and quietly confident that you are doing the right thing for you.

(hugs) I know it can be so hard

Thankyou, your advice probably seems like the right thing

just read this on another thread and thought it was fab- when someone makes a bitchy comment, say "that sounded very rude- did you mean it to?"
i also have a rather critical mother who also likes to point out if im looking a bit lardy. grrr. once you've moved out it ont feel like such an issue though because you'll have a bit more space. (and can just not invite her round!)

Baby making, good I mayuse it lol

hey MM, jsut posted a similar thread. my mum's the same - i'm not huge but not skinny and she's a bit bigger than me - but i always get the "god you look so FAT" comments. dunno what to do abotu it really :( just wanted to sympathise and have a moan ;)