sorting finances

[boringnamechange]

Dh and I are on the verge of splitting permanantly. How do we go about sorting out money? He will stay at his mums and I will stay with the two girls in the family home. There is no way I would be able to afford to stay on my own so have put our wages together and paid the bills - however split the rest and he has nearly £200 when Im left with £80 for me and the girls for 3 weeks - where am I going wrong?

Is there a fairer way to do it?

Any websites that might help? I stay in Scotland if that makes a difference?

Lots of Scottish Law Links

There;s a calculator which estimates what you'd get from the CSA - as far as I can remember he'd have to pay about 20% of his income just in payments for the girls.

As to what is an equitable split for the family home and finances... easier to sort out if you're married as you have very clearly defined rights. Go and chat to a lawyer.

If not, maybe have a read of www.scotland.gov.uk/Publications/2006/04/27135238/1 which is about property rights.

Thanks very much omc - will have a look at those links

Presumably a significant part of his £200 will go toward rent, if you and the dc are staying in the family home?

No he is staying rent free at his mothers just now. I was trying to be fair with money but it hasnt worked out.

Just trying to understand - if you split the rest available it isn't 50/50? i.e 200 vs 80, just not sure why that is.

The finanical split is always the most difficult to negotitate. Whilst he's with his mum now and has no costs that's not likely to continue so he will need some level of income to support himself and provide a home environment for the Dcs. I would really encourage you to consider this as over the longer term it's best if both parents have a home which the children are comfortable in.
Not sure if you own your own place but if so there are a number of ways to resolve this but it depends on what the assets from the marriage are. I would accept that for the time being finances will be a muddle and look to get to a situation (say in 6-12 months) where you have both worked out what can be achieved. The sad fact is that when parents split both parents are worse off, you go from one household to 2 and of course costs rise. How you get to an agreement which is fair really isn't that easy but you must keep trying to do so amicable.
Will you be entitled to an additional benefits and I assume you are also getting
CB?
See if you and your ex can work out a settlement but if that fails you may need to consider legal advice (which can very expensive and eat into the cash available). Mediation can also be useful and is generally cheaper than courts. I would however encourage you to share the concerns you have with your ex - also give him the opportunity to air his views.

Should have said the bulk of the bills money is in my account so right now it looks like it is fair but when I work out what money comes out when thats when Im left with the £80.
Thanks for your reply I think we have to sit down and work things out. I dont want this to happen but feel as I have no choice (he had an affair twice and recently before xmas)
I am going to look into additional benefits and yes I get CB (had forgot about that thanks )

my mum knows a financial advisor that might be able to help - or am I better getting legal advice?

So is he paying towards the bills, and the mortgage out of his money?

Well I put both our income together plus the CTC (as its for childcare) then took off all the bills and mortgage so what was left I halfed. I had mentioned the money to exH and he took out the £200 before I had worked it out properly. Looking back at the money for the month I had forgot about CB so Im not as bad off as I thought.
Just want to be fair about it all. He doesnt have a clue about bills or money worries though so is all down to me

He's not going to be able to afford to rent anywhere with £200 a month.

He isnt renting anywhere just now or looking he is staying with his mum and thats only for this month that I worked it out

Can he work more hours?

I don't see how he is going to live on £50 a week.

No he is full time. We both work in same place and they wouldnt give out more hours just now.

TBH he doesnt do much and while still at his mums that would be more than enough. Not enough in the long term though.

Your tax credits will increase as well if they are based on just your wages, have you looked into this as well?
Otherwise, just do all you can to bring down your outgoings such as if you have sky go down to the basic package, it only costs (or did) £1 a month more to keep the kids channels, you can get free internet through sky or a lot of mobile phone suppliers, change the gas and elec suppliers, can you do without your car etc.

Oh and are you renting? You might be able to get some housing/council tax rebate.
I don't know about mortgages if you will get any help there, but maybe move to a cheaper house?

Thanks TIS
I went through a cut back thing a couple of months ago and switched tv and phone so we are stuck in a 12 month contract but its quite cheap anyway. Nothing else really that we can make cheaper.
There is no way we could sell right now (own a flat) as the one below has been on the market for 16 months and not sold. Its also going for £20000 cheaper than what we paid so there is just no way on earth we would sell and get what we paid.

I have a CAB office near me I think I might go there see if I can get a lit of help. Going to look into it all tomorrow - wish it didnt have to be like this