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Original poster

Man

21 replies

happymandy · 04/02/2011 09:22

How can I find a new man I have been a single mum for six years and I am lonely being on my own please help

OP posts:
mummymunter · 04/02/2011 10:20

Hello Happymandy, I'm in the same situation as you. I've been on my own for a bit longer than you as I had a bad relationship and didn't want to repeat the experience but over the last six months, I have been feeling really quite lonely and don't want to be on my own forever. My kids are older and therefore are not so independant on me.
I've tried the dating websites and only agreed to meet up with one bloke which wasn't successful and ended up making me feel awful so this wouldn't be my chosen path. You need to develop a bit of a thick skin for web dating I think. All I can say is to try and expand your selection of friends and take up some new experiences to ensure that you have access to new men friends. Easier said than done but for me, I would rather meet people and get to know them than have to suffer having my picture picked off a dating website. There is such a reliance on looks and I think relationships develop of a multi dimensional level and not just attractiveness although I accept, it is what draws us to people initially. Good luck!

mummymunter · 04/02/2011 10:21

whoops - independant should read dependant!

JustForThisOne · 04/02/2011 10:25

hi fellow desperados I salute you!
lets start a club shall we?
Were are you based?
This is a big issue and need strategic think I feel

gettingeasier · 04/02/2011 11:10

One year single and still very happy with it tbh.

Thinking ahead though cant stand thought of dating sites but how about one of these singles groups where you pay to join and then can do all sortsof activities/meet ups in a group environment hence taking the pressure off a bit ? The one I have heard of is Spice but dont know if its regional..?

I agree JustFor there is a niche there for the next big thing in dating Grin

kepler10b · 04/02/2011 12:36

what sort of man do you think you might like and what sort of life / lifestyle would you like together (be realisitc).

where would this sort of man likely be found and how can you go about making your worlds collide?

don't be too picky on your not important stuff (e.g. dark hair, career etc)but do be picky on your dealbreaking stuff (e.g. no debts, must be kind etc)

think about what you have to offer in a relationship and possibly even improving on it.

Original poster
happymandy · 04/02/2011 21:14

Thank you all

OP posts:
JustForThisOne · 04/02/2011 23:00

can I answer Kepler questions?

what? realistically, someone who has been around the block a couple of time but is now chilled and possibly a father himself

where? (home with his missus maybe) can be found at work (sic) on a pub on the park, strolling around markets and galleries or DIY stores

preferences: dont mind hair or lack of it but I am a sucker for a nice voice and good taste in music
dealbreaker: anger

JustForThisOne · 04/02/2011 23:02

GettingEasier I am glad you are glad with it so far, my advice would be do not get too cosy in your singletude
Women can be on their own (not all) but it aint nice

JaquiChanFeelsBlue · 05/02/2011 08:35

Lonely here too Sad.

BooBooGlass · 05/02/2011 08:50

JustForThisOne are you serious?? What an attitude! Why do you feel people shouldn't get 'cozy' with being single??

BooBooGlass · 05/02/2011 08:51
JaquiChanFeelsBlue · 05/02/2011 09:00
BooBooGlass · 05/02/2011 09:05

Valentines makes me want to heave Wink We're staying in with a bottle Grin All still going really well, dc have been slowly introduced, we went to a fab park 2 weekends ago and everyone seems very happy. Not so good is the weight I've put on with all this stayign in drinking wine- I weighed yesterday and have put on a stone since meeting him Shock Diet starts today then...

JaquiChanFeelsBlue · 05/02/2011 10:39

.

gettingeasier · 05/02/2011 14:39

JustFor can you explain what you mean please ? Smile

Janos · 05/02/2011 14:41

"Women can be on their own (not all) but it aint nice"

Eh? Why not? Odd attitude.

JustForThisOne · 05/02/2011 17:28

BooBooGlass Sat 05-Feb-11 08:50:58
JustForThisOne are you serious?? What an attitude! Why do you feel people shouldn't get 'cozy' with being single??

BBG no attitude whatsoever. Just a very personal opinion, maybe I was thinking aloud. I did not have horrible relationships in the past and I would love to have a relationship again, but after over six years it looks quite far fetched. During the first years t I was so loved up with my own to even notice, I know I can be on my own and be allright, I know that. To be allright it is not great tho. I do not like to live as a complete asexual being, I miss adult company, sharing a nice meal an general talk, planning something together and the intimacy. If someone is happy fine, and so I was for a while. I think it is easy to get used to it, to be honest, and than it get harder to get back into a relationship. I know women that made an effort to carry on been sociable and meeting men and eventually found a nice pertner. I have made no effort whatsoever, it will not kill me to be alone for the rest of my life but hey would it be nice to have s/o special.
Did anyone else felt my advice was so out of order? Confused

JustForThisOne · 05/02/2011 17:29

oops loved up with my DC (ignore own)

gettingeasier · 06/02/2011 14:29

Yes I did which is why I asked for an explaination but I understand now after your post.

I see what you mean and |I guess time will tell on that one. In the meantime I have a huge circle of friends so am always up to something or other although very little that would be likely to yield a man iyswim !

I am 44yo and until this year never without a boy/man since 14 yo so I am really enjoying whats its like to just be me and to stand on my own 2 feet etc etc. Also I look around me and see so few examples of a relationship I would want to be in that I am not inspired.

Just because you have been alone for a few years I dont see why you cant meet someone if thats what you want - just get out of your comfort zone a bit maybe ?

Teaandcakeplease · 06/02/2011 14:50

Lots of people I know have had success on dating websites like plenty of fish. It's hard sometimes isn't it? I certainly never wanted to get divorced and my marriage to end and it is lonely at times, however I'm happy on my own (so far) I really do not want a man. I always needed to be with someone but since my divorce I'm finally happy alone Blush But do feel lonely sometimes. But I think that's just because my social life isn't that great with a 2 and 3 year old Blush

Original poster
happymandy · 06/02/2011 15:00

hi so what you mean its hard to go out with children I would like to meat the right man because I had a very very bad man in 2005 and ended uo lossing my children thank goodness I have them home sine 2007 and I dont want to get it wrong this time I have to much to lose my two great children I have and i love them dearly

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