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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

how do I help my dad?

0 replies

dotherightthing · 03/02/2011 21:09

Have namechanged.

My dad is ill with terminal cancer. We don't really know how long he's got, he's living at home still but I can see he is deteriorating.

I don't live close by but we visit often. My problem is I am at a loss as to how to engage him when we visit. He is tired and weary and is obviously really down. He doesn't take any pleasure in anything and sits watching the TV. I ask him what he wants, is there anything I can get him, books, magazines, a DVD he wants? No, nothing. He has everything he wants, thank you.

Part of me thinks, well yes, who wouldn't be depressed in his situation? I know I can't make it all right as such but I can't help wanting to do something to make things better.

He has worked hard all his life and the only things he liked doing are kindof beyond him now as they involved a bit of physical effort (sports, gardening etc.) He is not in pain.

Obiovusly we are devastated at the idea of losing him, but my immediate concern is him and how to help him through this shit time. Has anyone else had this experience and what can I do?

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