How do you have amicable divorce?

[rainbowcat]

Without damaging children's wellbeing. They are almost 4 and almost 1. Would it affect them very much? We need to separate but we want to do it so it will be not so damaging to the children obviously. Do you live nearby each other so it's easier to see them?

Agree the money up front.
Take CSA recommendations into account.

Work out how you will afford to maintain two properties.

Work out how you can both have some access - and not just weekends for the dad. He needs some of the homework/lunchbox/get to school stuff too.

Think about grandparents.

Think about how you'll manage new DP/DH/DW

I'm not thinking about future relationships at all. Our relationship has deterioarted over years and it is toxic now and time to move on. I'm very much concerned about children first. If it means that I should live near soon to be ex DH so that children will be fine I'll do that. But will they remember so much if they are so young as now? For example if I wanted to move away to different country?

whoa... don't expect amicable if you take the kids away.

Will the kids remember they don't see their dad? Yes, and they'll probably throw it at you.

If you have to move for work, well, stuff happens. But to take them away from their dad... that's just awful

[I had to fight for access to my kids; which I got and kept up with into their adulthood]

Try collaborative law. Google it. Go on the resolution website. It's really good.