I'm in danger of ruining any chance of a surprise engagement!!!!

[broodyelle]

Hello mumsnetters,

As you can tell from my user name I'm very broody! I have been for years. I have been living with DP since Nov 09. He knows how broody I am and a few months ago we had a major discussion about it. DP isn't ready for a baby so I suggested we thought about looking at marriage. I have this idea that marriage will be a good transition for him, he seemed happy with that idea but said he wanted to get the proposal right as I have always wanted a romantic surprise proposal.

So I have now been waiting for this "surprise" proposal for three months and am worried he is never going to ask!!! During these three months he has taken me on lots of fancy dates, posh restaurants, and we had an anniversary (all of this is uncommon for us), all perfect proposal dates. It is valentines day soon and he is planning something and I really want him to propose! I am getting quite disappointed every time he doesn't but if I mention it to him it could ruin the surprise!

Before the discussion I spent all my time looking at baby related things, I now spend all my time looking at wedding stuff, I even mention what I have seen sometimes but it is like talking to a brick wall!

Hep me keep my sanity (what is left of it)! what should I do! All advice welcome!

How old are you both?

I honestly can't believe he hasn't run away as fast as he can....... Sounds like you've got his life all planned. Hope it goes well for you both

Get a hobby. Or a pet.

Seriously though, I think you need to stop obsessing about marriage and babies and just live and enjoy your lives before you scare him off

As long as you have had the discussion that ultimately you would both like to settle down and have children, I'd drop the subject to give him room to breathe. How about planning something else - a holiday, maybe something adventurous that's much easier before children? Career advancement? Long - term financial planning eg pensions ? Evening class, volunteering, spending time with friends ? Get busy with something else :)

Or.....radical suggestion here....you could propose to him. If you want to marry him so badly, ask him.

I really really really really can't understand why women still wind themselves up 'waiting' to be asked. How come he gets all the control over the decision?

I was desperate for DH to propose. I can remember crying one xmas day because I thought he might!
He used to take me to look at rings and choose the one I liked best early on in our relationship. I ended up asking him to stop as I kept thinking he might and he never did!
I wasn't hugely fussed about getting married until after DD - but he didn't seem keen and I kind of got over it. Can you guess that he then did propose? Valentines day two years ago. And it was a complete surprise and lovely and we got married last year. We will have been together 10 years this year so sometimes you have to wait a littl!