am I right to be a bit cross

[flooziesusie]

Sort of an 'aibu' really, but thought I'd post in relationships...

So last night, h goes out with two friends at about 7.45. Says 'see you in an hour, wont be long babe'. He eventually came home at 11.30, with the two mates - all three pissed. They stayed until about 1ish - being a bit loud, music on, smoking outside with the door open so the fag fumes waft around the house.

Am I being totally unreasonable to expect a text to tell me he's going to be late in? AND am I being unreasonable to think that it's out of order for that to happen on a Wednesday?

OR am a being a mardy arse nag?

(there is a bit of history btw)

He should have phoned you to say he was going to be out later than expected. Just so you did not worry.

Do you both have work the next day - if so he is being a bit of a twat.

Did you not feel able to say to the other two - come on guys - time for you to go home - it's midnight and I've got work / school run / get up early tomorrow.

It is your home as well.

So - a bit of a nag if you have a real go at him but you need to make your point. Or do the same back to him with friends of yours?

doesnt matter that it was wednesday imo.

i would hope for a text, but if it was me, i would have texted or rang him after about 2 hours, and said how i was really worried that he had been in an accident or something, because he said he would be an hour.

And hope that he got the message!

we both work, have two dcs; to be honest, going downstairs in me dressing gown asking them to leave makes me cringe - but you don't ask you don't get I suppose.

WkdSM; he has twattish tendancies rather regularly.

I'd called him once, at about 9.30. No answer.

I would never do that to him, especially on a school/work night

I am having trouble articulating to him why I am so cross...

did you actually go downstair to ask them to leave?
I dont know, I would not have been that bothered, I could never do waiting and texting, would have gone to bed and slept if I was tired so for me iabu
but then again if there is an history its another issue

just say listen sunshine, next time you fancy going out to re-live your teenage years on a wednesday night, dont bother coming here with your mates, blowing smoke around the house infact dont bother coming back at all,weve both got work and the kids were sleeping, and if you cant keep track of time then text wouldnt go a miss either.

I'd be annoyed as well, especially on a week night

i'd be annoyed. i don't think it's reasonable behaviour. he probably knows that though....just got a bit drunk and didn't want to look under the thumb infront of his mates.

why don't you ask him what he thought of it all? how would he feel if you had done that? probably better to try to get him to face up to a mistake like an adult rather than lecture him like a teenager.

I did go to bed, they woke me when they came in. I sleep softly when in the house on my own. I didn't go down and ask them to leave, I tried to get back to sleep; perhaps I should have. It is my house too, and I'm putting the children first in not wanting fag smoke in my home.

I wont 'have a go' at him; I'm not his mother, but I want some damn respect ffs. Not wanting to look like a prat/under the thumb in front of his friends puts him in the wanker bracket as far as I'm concerned.

Thanks for the replies; much appreciated.

I just think I am tooooo cross. I'd like to punch him in the chops to be utterly truthful!