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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Do we ever get threads about problems in lesbian relationships on the Relationships board?

23 replies

madonnawhore · 02/02/2011 13:45

There must be lesbian mumsnetters?

It's been good having more guys posting on relationship threads lately as I enjoy getting perspectives from all the different angles. It's a shame that all the insights into relationships are seemingly exclusively heterosexual though.

Dunno what this thread is about really. I suppose 1. it would be nice if there was a slightly more varied distribution of sexual orientation and 2. I think there would be really useful things I could learn about relationships from gay and lesbian couples and parents.

Anyone else ever wondered about the heterogeneity of the Relationships board?

OP posts:

batman47555 · 02/02/2011 13:48

it appears no lesbians have comment on thenstrap on thread
shame, slap me now

Original poster

madonnawhore · 02/02/2011 13:49

Oh batman you're so boringly predictable. Do you EVER get laid?

OP posts:

warthog · 02/02/2011 13:49

rubyrubyruby · 02/02/2011 13:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

batman47555 · 02/02/2011 13:50

sorry couldn't resist, AF will tell me off later!

Bramshott · 02/02/2011 13:52

There are a number of lesbian mumsnetters who post on all sorts of topics, although maybe not so much in Relationships.

QuintessentialShadows · 02/02/2011 13:53

I have seen some.

rubyrubyruby · 02/02/2011 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

madonnawhore · 02/02/2011 13:55

Yes, very possibly Ruby.

OP posts:

HecateQueenOfWitches · 02/02/2011 14:09

perhaps there are not many mumsnetters in lesbian relationships in which they are having problems that they require advice on?

sincitylover · 02/02/2011 14:14

I think but don't quote me that lenin and gay40 could be lesbian posters. if im wrong forgive me.

Saltatrix · 02/02/2011 14:19

Or perhaps it is simply a law of averages since the majority of people are heterosexual therefore be a larger number would be dysfunctional (likewise there would be more functional). There shouldn't be direct comparisons between occurrences in a larger population with a smaller one.

Anyway many people speak in gender neutral phrases e.g 'DP'

upahill · 02/02/2011 14:22

Perhaps they post stuff on the lesbian and gay board?

momentsintime · 02/02/2011 23:59

Well I am in the gays, and no offense to the straight ladies, but I wouldn't ask advice on relationships as I don't think you could help much. I'd afl my girl gay friends or talk to them. It is pretty different.

StuffingGoldBrass · 03/02/2011 00:14

I would think that lesbian MNers with relationship issues might be more likely to seek advice on a specifically lesbian-orientated forum. At least partly so as not to have to waste time filtering out the advice that's either heteronormative, homophobic or simply ignorant.

BuzzLightBeer · 03/02/2011 00:16

There is a gay/lesbian parenting topic here, although I don't know if it includes relationship talk.

yogididabooboo · 03/02/2011 00:18

could it be that both members of the relationship post here and therefore makes it a little difficult to post asking for advice/vent.

OhForBoonessSake · 03/02/2011 00:20

i think SGB and moments have explained it very well.

and is it strange that i know of far more gay MNers than just lenin and gay40? ask me their names and i will draw a blank but show me names and i can (but wont because it isn't my right to do so) tell you if they are or aren't. as far as i know i am straight so not sure why i know this.

Gay40 · 03/02/2011 08:28

I'd say that sometimes relationship issues are just relationship issues, but sometimes they are spcifically lesbian issues. Don't know where I'd post them personally, nor can I think of any examples.
SGB is right, I think.

StuffingGoldBrass · 03/02/2011 10:00

I do actually remember a while ago a thread about a lesbian relationship problem: one partner was spending a lot of time with another woman but insisting it was just a friendship, and it did seem to be more complicated because of the whole business of 'can a lesbian have a close woman friend?'
DOn't remember how or if it was resolved though.

HelenaRose · 03/02/2011 11:28

I wouldn't post anything using the word 'lesbian' because I know I'd have to put up with twunts like Batman would make dehumanising comments. So, yeah, that's probably a contributing factor.

kepler10b · 03/02/2011 11:50

i'm bisexual. i sorted my (never ending)lesbian relationship problems out by marrying a man! seriously though i think they are generally quite different. a lot of the marriage problems on here seem to be about assumptions about division of labour and gender power lines.

lesbian issues? lesbian bed death / cross pollination in friendships circles (i.e. cheating) that gets very messy and extrememly emotional intense at times.

Gay40 · 03/02/2011 21:08

Lesbian bed death is just like straight bed death. One partner desires less sex than/with the other - for whatever reason.
There's a least one thread a week on here about it.

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