So he just left me. Help with practicalities please

[sosososad]

My dh just left. So what do I do now.

I don't work. He will never be mean with money but he will obviously need to live. Will I be entitled to any benefits?.

My head is in a complete fog. I have made a list of things to do. We have 5 children, I keep thinking of things like Saturday mornings when they all need to be in differant places for activities, how will I cope?.
I know dh would still follow our normal routine and help me, but I feel to raw to see him at the moment.

God I can't stop crying. What do I do first.

Why has he left and do you have other threads about this?

Yes I posted last week but I can't do threads I'm sorry. I can't stop crying.

For practical help with benefits I found this website really helpful x

www.entitledto.co.uk

sososad - feeling for you - to be left with 5 children. You didn't post about being depressed did you on the MH thread. Really hope it wasn't you, but I do get mixed up with threads sometimes.

You say your dh will not be mean with money - does this mean that he will pay the mortgage and all other household expenses. If so I don't think you would be entitled to benefits.

Also you say he will come and "help you with everything" - why has he gone and is he still living nearby. Is there AW involved. I wouldn't worry too much about Sat mornings and kids activities - that will sort in time.

I think maybe you need help for your emotional distress rather than practicialities. Did this come as a shock - if so your distress will be much worse. Have you any family/friends in RL who can support you through this reallu awful time for you. It would be very strange if you felt anything other than great emotional upheaval at a time like this, so it is small wonder you can't stop crying. Alongside this you will be trying to care for your 5 children. I would be tempted to let him help as much as you need, even though you feel raw at seeing him at the moment. Be matter of fact and let him take the children where they need to be and get them off your hands for a while.

Do hope things will improve for you soon

nananina could I send you a pm please. Theres lots about the situation I can't say on here. I know what job you used to do and think you might be able to advise me.

Only I'm not sure I know how to pm never done it.

Sosososad - click on message poster on the blue banner on the right on NanaNina's post and that will enable you to message her.

I don't have any advice, but really hope that you are okay and things get better soon

Feeling for you too. Not much help on the emotional side I know, but as a money / benefits adviser I can give you some practical advice about benefits. You should be entitled to child tax credits at least, unless your husband is going to provide you with 40k plus per annum. As, I guess, it will probably be less than this, you may also be able to get, on top of tax credits, Income Support, council tax benefit and housing benefit if you are renting or mortgage interest support if you are not. The entitledto website is great, or go and get some face-to-face advice from your local Citizens' Advice Bureau (CAB) or independent advice centre; they can also help you apply for any benefits you are entitled to. Recent govt cuts mean you may find it difficult to get an appointment, but visit the CAB website if you have any problems seeing someone face to face.

Stay strong

sosad - of course you can PM me. I'm not sure either! but it does tell you on the initial MN website how to do it and it doesn't sound complicated.

OH didn't see fixits post - sounds easy enough and I think I get an e mail to tell me you have PMd

There should be a tab next to poster's names on threads, saying 'message poster' just click on that.

Don't have any particular advice OP, just to hang in there, take all the help offered on here and in rl, and make you and your dcs your top priority.