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Original poster

Is anyone else's DH constantly messaging on their phones?

28 replies

lastresort · 02/02/2011 12:12

And is it normal?

OP posts:
KikiJane · 02/02/2011 12:13

What do you mean? He's always texting?

msboogie · 02/02/2011 12:16

no, is it recent? sounds v dodgy

janinlondon · 02/02/2011 12:17

This is the definitive list of questions:

Does he take his mobile with him to the bathroom?
Is it on silent?
Is it locked?
Does he refuse to let you use his phone, even If you forget yours?
If he does let you, does he say, hang on, and first check his messages and mess with the settings for a minute before handing it over?
Does he take his phone to bed?
Is it in a place where even if you got out of bed in the night, you couldn?t get it (ie. under the pillow/in his hand)?
Does he obscure the screen or angle it so you can?t see it when he looks at incoming messages?
Does he receive messages in the night?
Does he text from the bathroom?

How does he do??????

LeroyJethroGibbs · 02/02/2011 12:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
lastresort · 02/02/2011 12:30

Well, yes it has allseemed to get busier since xmas. No he does not take it to bed with him it's not actually locked but he 'knows' when someones been on it.
I never use his phone so if I suddenley asked to use it he would think it very strange.
What am really [hmmm] about is that I have found out recently that he is able to send messages on blackberry messenger, and they do not show up on phone bill.
Have sort of looked over his shoulder when he's been on it and it looks very sim to Facebook, with pics and message from the person in the pic...but it's not Facebook. So I assume it's some kind of blackberry social site thing.

OP posts:
Original poster
lastresort · 02/02/2011 12:34

Also, in the evening when the bloody thing's buzzing every 5 mins I make some comment like "must be something intersting?" and he just makes some comment about football.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 02/02/2011 12:37

Lastresort......sounds worrying, sorry, but he's not behaving normally is he?

Original poster
lastresort · 02/02/2011 12:41

My thoughts too, but he denies anything is going on. Which leaves me with no choice but to believe him. I mean, with no proof, what can you do?

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 02/02/2011 12:51

Having seen your other posts and your other threads, you know what's happening, but you won't confront it. The evidence is staring you in the face; a man who is wholly under-invested in his relationship with you and his DCs and who is secretive about his life. You don't trust him an inch and you're constantly trying to bargain that something isn't going on because you have no proof.

You don't need "proof" and you have plenty of choices, but you don't want to take them.

surprisenumber3 · 02/02/2011 17:48

my DH is constantly on his, not sure if it's locked, I've never looked, nor touched it.

But then I am the same!....

jesuswhatnext · 02/02/2011 17:52

actually, i think it can be 'normal' - my dh and his bloody i-phone thing are inseperable!, i trust him totally, i know he is looking at football scores, ebay, work emails etc, its just a gadget that he really enjoys using! maybe it is just innocent1

cestlavie · 02/02/2011 17:55

DW is the same since she got her iPhone. Constantly on it, checking Facebook, updating posts, surfing the net, sending texts. Nothing dodgy and trust her completely. I'd find it more frustrating but I've got one as well so know how addictive they can potentially be Grin

WherecanIhide · 02/02/2011 20:21

My H was doing this - always said it 'was work' - turned out he was having an affair and obsessively checking for her texts Angry

shirazgirl · 02/02/2011 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lastresort · 02/02/2011 20:45

okay, bit confused now. seems to be 50% think affair, 50% think normal.

OP posts:
WhenwillIfeelnormal · 02/02/2011 20:52

To give posters a better insight, tell them the back story OP and why you chose to start this thread. I'm not surprised you're getting the reactions you are, but this is only a smidgeon of the story, as one would have hoped, wiser posters might have realised Hmm.

emmyloopsylou · 02/02/2011 21:07

I've read your posrs before LR, sure of it. Why have you posted such a basic op?

He is having an affair and in he context you mean it, is not the same as say cestlavie means it.

marmynags · 02/02/2011 21:31

mine keeps buzzing every 5 mins cos it picks up emails and 99% of them are spam!!

Eurostar · 02/02/2011 22:28

Blackberry messaging is an instant messaging thing, like MSN on the PC. It's free between blackberry users

surprisenumber3 · 02/02/2011 22:41

Although I never question my DH's addiction to his phone, nor have I ever looked at it, I do trust him 99.999999% If it had been my ex he would have been guilty. Think it depends on the man but I have no idea of your back story.

AnyFucker · 02/02/2011 23:11

LR...I have seen your posts before

you need to stop asking the same questions in different ways in an attempt get the answers you feel are most palatable to you

you don't trust your H and it seems you have good reason not to

what do you want people to say ?

Resolution · 02/02/2011 23:29

I use my iPhone in the way you describe. I'm not up to anything. I'm a man. It's a gadget. Nuff said.

TimeToStartACHEEKYDiet · 03/02/2011 00:45

my DH is always on his, but on the internet, he takes it to the bathroom, to bed as his alarm is his phone, BUT he is open with it if i want to use it hell hand me it as normal, like when he had his n900 i would use it for mumnetting internet if my BB was slow.

A normal none affair bloke would give you his phone to use and not be confidential about it.

Deff something going on. if you heart is telling you something and something isnt right then thats telling you something.

As a partner/wife etc you just know these things.

Sparkle5 · 03/02/2011 22:49

A good tip I read is if you can manage to get hold of his phone or get into it go into his address book and change the phone numbers to your own mobile and just wait to see what texts come through.

thenightsky · 03/02/2011 22:53

Mine is constantly on the phone/blackberry thing. Even in the supermarket he's stood there, fiddling with it. I said to him, its like being with a bloody teenager sometimes with all the text,text, text thing.

It is work though, coz he leaves it charging on my laptop and doesn't give a bugger if i look at it.