Ifeel like a fool-

[oldme]

Ive just been a prize idiot!
I maybe over-reacting, but I still have depression and anxiety.
6 months ago i ended a relationship with my ex partner, and father to my child, it was during a time when my depression was at is's worst, I quickly regretted that decsission, but he refused to take me back as he said the last 2 years with me pushing him away has taken affect and he is no longer attracted to me in that way. obviusly I was devastated to hear this and have been trying to win him back-you know the desperate pleading etc. finally realised he is not interested in me but still have deep feelings for him.
Recently and old friend got in touch with me started a bit of online flirting and suggested nsa sex- I agreed - stupidly and invited him round, obv he had changed alot in the last 10 years, but he kissed me and i thought all that would fade in the background. I did then push him away, as I don't feel ready for this type of thing etc, and I am still hung up on my ex.The guy was ok with that- i think! Felt really guilty as my ex has met him twice through work.
I have since told my ex as the guilt is unbearble- have always been a v honest person.He was ok about it, a bit miffed that he knew the guy and that he was aware of our situ, he just called me a numpty and told me to pick better next time.Not someone we both knew.
In theory now I should feel ok shouldn't I?But I don't feel good at all- cannot block it out- afraid it will get out- as this is totally out of charecter for me, afraid my ex will confront him, even he has assured me that will never happen. Feel sick and v upset have not stopped crying about it? Am i over-reacting???
sorry for typo's

You have nothing to feel bad about, imho. You weren't cheating on anyone, you have been honest with everyone. You liked the attention from the fb guy but stopped before it went further than you were comfortable with - I think you did really well.

It sounds like you're going to have to get over your ex :( But at least your ex is right- there will be other guys you are attracted to who will like you back, and one of them will be Mr Right :)

It doesnt sound at all to me like your ex will confront this other man. I really dont think you need to worry about it causing trouble at all.

Thanks Robberbutton for taking the time to reply- still feel like a plonker though for letting it go that far- You are right I do need to get over the ex, have been trying for 5 months- and still feel the same about him.

thanks bubblewrapped- hope he don't when i said who it was he was not too pleased with him!

You said your ex is not interested in you. It sounds as though you are trying to create a situation to make him jealous or to continue having a relationship around how you have "cheated " and how he will "confront " this guy, when in fact he is moving on and doesnt want to know.

Sorry to be harsh but yourXP isnt bothered and you need to stop seeing other people and spend some time being single and getting your confidence back. You don't need a man, you need time and good friends to help you get over your XP.

Good luck

thank you NoNames- maybe on some sub concious level I was thinking that, we until recently were seeing each other on a regular basis- until I cracked- yet again!
So hard to get over him, when he is in the babies life so much- have tried to take myself away of being near him, maybe was a way of getting his attention again-
I have been lonely lately and I do need to focus on myself and the baby.
Thanks for the advice :)

Thanks shine, told my ex as we still have a very close relationship, on some level i felt guilty?- i just blurted it out to him as he is still my best friend, and we still talk alot- something I know that I have to knock on the head if i am ever going to move on- it is hard though when he says he misses talking to me and coming round to the house. My head is in the shed at the mo- have not been making the best decisions of late.
Am going to make sure that me and my ex have as lil contact as possible from now on- honest!- and thanks :)

thanks again shine:)
could not help laughing at the 'Mr feelings' line, you got him so right there! :o

thanks- right again he was always very controlling when we were together- and very insecure, constantly on my phone, and accusing me of sleeping around! could not look up in the car without having the 3rd degree that I was eyeing up another man.
Even recently when a friend text when i was out and he was babysitting, he text them back to find out who it was- and whether it was a man, and im pining for him!!!
God seeing it in black and white really does put in in perspective! This is t reality check I needed.

thanks :)

I am now- he just phoned about coming over, flately refused, then he asked about tomorrow- refused again:)

will do - thanks again

rah rah rah

I love it when that lightbulb clicks on....

shiney gives good advice, oldme

Your right AnyF

ha ha- it was definately a light bulb moment- just wish I had come on here months ago!

:)

good luck x