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Relationships

DP does not love our Son

27 replies

Orchidlady · 31/01/2011 10:47

Don't know where to start really this is a bit complicated. Going through a terrible time with my DP but I really think this is the end. We have been rowing for weeks but this weekend 2 things happened that have left me angry, upset, enraged and so desperately sad. Firstly I overheard my DP asking our DS1 ( who is 19) to get him some cannabis, I know I was not meant to hear this but I did, I went completely mad, he said it was not for him and when I asked who is was for he said it was none of my business and I was a being a complete control freak ( his favourite insult right now) He just could not see that this is not giving a responsible parenting message to our son who smokes too much and just WRONG WRONG WRONG on so many levels. Secondly he came home from work on Saturday lunch time stinking of booze, when I asked if he had been drinking he completed denied it ( he must think I am stupid). Anyway to cut a long story he managed to get completely pissed and was staggering around incoherently, the worst of all was this was in front of our 10 year old .God it was humiliating, he was also very nasty to us both, poor kid. He then wakes on yesterday and carries on as if nothing has happened. Anyway things came to a head last night, another blazing row. this time though he told me he was suicidal ( which he denied 10 minutes later) but worst of all he hates being a father and does not love our son. . We have been together for 17 years and 11 years ago I told he that if he did not want a child with me then should split up as the old biological clock was ticking he agreed our DS was born, but he is still blaming me saying I have ruined his life by making him a father, god this is pathetic. sorry I rambling but I just need some ideas how to deal with this. Just not thinking straight. I actually think he is losing the plot

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noddyholder · 31/01/2011 14:26

You would all be better off without him as things are.Only he can sort this if he wants to.i would ask him to leave keep the lines of communication open by phone/text but have a month of no contact nd see what he does.Protect your boys at any cost.This has already probably had an affect on them but it is never to late to minimise the damage starting by putting them before him and letting them see you have made that choice

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crisptart · 31/01/2011 14:51

I think you need to protect your sons from hurt and get away from this man. How soul destroying would it be for your son to hear that, you can work on your relationship later if you think it's worth it but think of your sons first.

Completely agree with that statement. Get the hell away from him, if your son overheard that it would absolutely destroy him and what kind of life are they having around that kind of atmosphere anyway (dad into drugs etc?)
Your children should always come first, no question about it,no if's or but's.

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