What Do You Make Of This? Advice Please

[raggedtrousers]

I've been married for 10 years but we split up almost 2 years ago. No DCs together, each got kids from former relationships.
We've had no contact at all for the last year. Started a divorce about 6 months ago.
Before Christmas I thought I'd spotted his car near my house 3 times.
Got a new DP but it's early days.
Then got a text today out of the blue inviting me to the theatre from exH.
I just don't know what to make of it. I'm not going to even bother replying but I've been sat here wondering what he's up to, or whether to take it at face value. I feel a bit worried by it.
Any suggestions about what might be going on?

maybe the divorce proceedings stirred up some unresolved emotions for him.
He tried to visit but couldn't mustre the courage.

or he could be a weirdo?

If this isn't somthing you wish to persue i would reply saying thanks but no thanks, you wouldn't fel comfortable.

Thanks for the reply Penelope.
TBH I'm erring on the weirdo side. I don't even want to confirm that the phone he texted to is still working by replying. Plus I'm still really angry/resentful about certain things that led to the break up so don't feel like giving him such a civil reply.

what happened between you? why didn't you speak for a year? (that's unusual imo) what about your kids re they lived together for however long, are they in touch? lots of unanswered q's really here - can you give a bit more info op?

Ignore and check to see if your phone has a reject list. If so, put him on this so you won't get any more texts/calls.

I don't even want to confirm that the phone he texted to is still working by replying.

I am afraid most phone will tell you f the msg got thru

Humanheart
Our relationship became really difficult and through reading on here and elsewhere I now think it had some quite emotionally abusive parts to it.
My DC didn't want to maintain any contact with him I think they saw how upset I was in the marriage and were just relieved to be gone.
We didn't speak because there was no reason to really iyswim. I think it is unusual but the relationship had really deteriorated for 2 or 3 years before I managed to actually leave.
Readywith - thanks for that tip, although part of me wants to keep an eye in case this escalates. Guess I'm just unnerved.

you sound scared of this man, start writing a log, just in case hu

i think to invite you to the theatre completely out of the blue is weird. if he wants to talk to you he could either have phoned, or texted, or emailed.. to say he would like to talk, and what about. do you think he has got wind that you have a new P? no answer would be the best response imo - like you said, make out you no longer have the same number. (therefore don't answer calls from numbers you don't recognise).

Thanks for the replies.
I am weirded out by the 'invite' after such a long time, it seems surreal.
Wondered if it could be because the 'unreasonable behaviour' cited for the divorce was described as controlling?
My other problem now is I feel jumpy in the house in case his next step is to come here.
The DCs have only just started to really relax and their behaviour not to have echos of what they heard him saying to me iyswim. They get home before I come home from work and aren't always that great at locking the front door. I don't want to say why they need to make sure it's locked, but now feel this must be always done just in case.
What could I say that won't alarm them but makes them really careful?
Any ideas please?

Must have been really bad if your feeling jumpy just at the thought of him, hopefully if you ignore him he'll go away again.

What about one of those locks which needs a key to open it and shuts on its own, can't think what they're called. Then you wouldn't have to say anythig to Dc's about locking the door.

Thanks Ambar I'll look into that.
Think I'm being a bit silly really. I think if he does turn up I'll just tell him I don't want to speak to him and to go away or I'll call the police then close the door. Hopefully that would do it, just don't want my DCs upset as they seem to be doing so well last few months. I hate him for p*ing around like this.

would your children open the door to him if he rung?

was just thinking about getting an interphone

We've got 2 doors and you can see through the inner door. If they saw him I don't think they'd let him in.
Just looked up interphone. Any idea of how much they cost?

have a look here
I think you need to search for video door phone
www.google.co.uk/products?hl=en&rlz=&q=video+door+phone&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=F0FHTY7vNIOWhQfOjOWbAg&sa=X&oi=product_result_group&ct=title&resnum=4&ved=0CFUQrQQwAw

(interphone seem to be something else}

Thanks JFTO. Got a friend who's an electrician I'll ask his advice. At the least I think I'll get a new lock that self locks when you close the door (and leave a spare key with a neighbour!)