sigh. think its just a matter of time now

[sungirltan]

dh is back home. he is being even more bloody minded and antagonistic than usual. he has already moaned about sex. he got back late friday night when i was out (had babysitter). he said i spurned him then. since dd was in the bed with him when i got home i'm not sure how i could have - or care frankly.

he is nit picking already just to start fights. this morning it was the changing bag - too messy apparently (bothered! only i use it) and yesterday he went through the fridge to look for out of date food to bollock me about. only found one thing ha ha

he is interfering with dd, harrassing her when shes eating so she throws the food on the floor (never an issue with me i just let her eat in peace) and criticised me when i spent hours last night settling her in her cot. dh wants ot bring her in with us but imo knowing that it means a shit nights sleep for me so i'm having none of that.

he has taken her out this afternoon so i can do my job apps. he suggested yesterday that i'have a meal ready when dd and him get back'. i said hmm maybe, depends what time. today on leaving he said 'between 5 and 6'. i said 'if you want a meal waiting i need to know what time' so he pressed the lift button to go down and turned his back. nice

i'm fairly sure i am leaving once i have a job. bit scared to do it before that plus he keeps threatening to take the houseofff the market but we have a buyer now and it looks like its going through. if i leave now i think he will withdraw from the sale so i am stuck here.

i dont even know what i'm asking for on this thread. just need to vent i suppose. i fantasise about just being in a little house with dd on our own

Sounds awful :( it really does. You can't keep living like this can you?

Sounds controlling and nasty, you'd be well rid of him. Sorry

where has he been, away working, or has he left? Sorry haven't seen other threads?

sounds like your mind is made up.
Concentrate on a getting out plan.

i know exactly how you feel, sometimes it's just easier by yourself

Keep planning for the day you are free. It feels fab, really it does

Keep thinking of that little house suntangirl. DD will very soon, if not already, pick up on this tension between you. He does sound awful, really like a bully.

How long has it been this bad?

do it. get yourself and your DD outr of this situation and be happy.

you both deserve to be happy :)

perfumedlife - your post made me a bit teary :-( dd does pick up on it already. i told dh that when things blow up we need to say to eachother 'ok but lets talk about this later' but that doesnt fit with his ocnfrontational nature at all so he finds that a challenge.

i wrote a big response post but the net ate it. boo

its been like this on an offa few years now. worse since dd because dh feels the need to just question and nit pick all the time. he is always worse when he gets back home from working (up to 9 weeks at a time but just 3 week course this one). its as if he's gives himself pepe talks that say 'right, not taking any more shit from dw when i get home' - he must do as he is especially confrontational the first few days.

he has said he will be home most of feb so i can concentrate on getting back to work which is good in some ways - he means well i think but i just find life so much more work when he's here. i cant be at home when he is looking after dd because if i even enter the room he will push her back on to me. even stupid things like coming in when im drying my hair and plonking dd on the bed and 'nipping off to the kitchen do get something' - so i have to watch er so she doesnt fall off. i am getting really wise to this an i shut doors all over the place and locky myself away to get things done. dh will bellow to me to come and observe dd cruisng or some such and then if i dont immediately jump im accused of not being interested in my own daughter - what a bitch eh.

this is total shit btw. i spend most of my time taking dd to baby classes and doing baby things with other mums and making sure she goes out and about and has other kids to play with - i am engaged with her the whole time so i am allowed some me time when i have childcare.

part of me feels bad. dh adores dd and tries hard with her in his own way but we wind eachother up so much at home. we dont have sex and he moans and i just dont care. i humour him with lots of things but really i dont care anymore. its just like having a stroppy teenager to deal with.

i will feel awful explaning to dd when shes older that 'i left your dad because he was too irritating' - makes it sounds really flimsy and part of me feels lke i owe it to dd to stay but i just dont think i can hack dh much longer

Does he know that you intend to leave?

yes and no. i told him i wanted to separtate before xmas. he told me if would have to stay in the apartment with him until it was sold and that we w2ould get on fine. i was quite alarmed by this suggestion but then he begged me to go to ocunselling and i agreed. we have an offer on the apartment now and i think this one might go through. i think he will pull out of the sale if i tell him now just to makes things harder for me. i know thats sounds awful and dishonest but i cant and dont want to put dd through being in the flat together post split. the sort of plan is for us to rent for a bit and look for a family home. i think if things are still bad once we have moved out of here it will be the time we split....job pending, though i suppose i could claim for a bit if no job yet but that route really scares me