DD flirting with dad and his friends

[angelagray]

Spent most of the night trying to register a different name but everything I typed as a user name was taken, given up.

I am separated from my H, it has been 18 months now. The garage and the room above has been altered to create a self sufficient annex which is now H apartment. We get on fine and we have a DD who is 12. We do not have any formal agreement but our arrangements works well enough.

DD is a bubbly and bright girl with who I have a good relationship, most of the time. She isn?t interested in boys and although she loves music does not have any posters of pop stars on her walls (mine were plastered with posters when I was her age).

DD is very close to her father; they have an easygoing relationship. They go swimming together, horse riding, play tennis, go skiing, often for the weekend. H has a motor home. They will sometimes behave like kids calling each other names, racing each other to the car, but he has always been like that with her.

However in recent months she has been taking a lot more care in her appearance and what she wears. While her friends come round in leggings, trainers and casual tops, she is always wearing skirts, dresses and high heels lately..

I have also noticed her flirting with her father and his friends. My mind says no problem, my feeling tell me differently.

Today after an incident I ended up have a row with DD, she calls me sick. H comes in; we then have a row, he says I am over reacting

So help me out here what is acceptable and what is not?

Thank you all for your responses, especially ItsGraceAgain, whose advice I think I will follow. Apologies to CheerfulYank although why I was being asked for details if CheerfulYank thought I was a troll I am not sure.

I won't be posting details, because I really should not have posted this on Mums Net.

I haven't read all the posts so sorry if this repeats anything...

Girls often flirt with their dads- it's normal behaviour- it's a way of testing out womanhood in a safe way.

Unless the dads flirt back, and it becomes overly sexual, rather than just playful, it's not a problem.

The boundaries need to be set by the adult, in the way they respond.

Made me reflect on the fact that the father's relationship with daughter can set the tone for the rest of her life. Big responsibility!

Yes, it can, TD

as I found to my cost

Ok so totally pointless thread, none of the important points will be given...

Angelray, I agree, don't post the details.

My dd is younger than yours, but I have noticed that if her father gives her something tiny, a pencil, a notebook, she treats it like some precious item and practically has an altar in her bedroom for the various bits of cheap tat her father gave her. I say nothing.

I think the flirtig is her clumsy way of testing her father's love for her. she's too old to be childlike, or cute in a childlike way... she doesn't know how to get a cuddle. (probably).

I think that you would NOT be unreasonable to say no to high heels and so on though. high heels really would give the impression she was a lot older.

what happened AF?

oops, flyaway post last night, TD, wasn't meant to launch into an explanation of the calibre of father I grew up with

suffice to say, I made some awful mistakes in my young adulthood that were due to self-esteem issues, stemming from my relationship with him

thanks for asking