Worried I might always regret losing my youth - advice needed

[marypoppins]

I am a 26 year old primary school teacher, married for four years with no children. Recently I've been thinking a lot about the things I want to do before starting a family. I've realised I'd really like a break from teaching to do an MA and possibly a PhD after that.

The problem is that dh has been very negative about the idea since I've started to mention it. Fulfilling my individual ambitions would mean commuting to another town or living there during the week and dh likes us to be together all the time. It would also mean losing my salary and although I would probably get funding I'd have to borrow money. To be honest the decision coincides with a need for a little more independence, but I do want the marriage to succeed.

I've been felling a bit bogged down lately by teaching young children and the responsibilities and routines of married life. I don't want to regret or fell resentful about missing opportunities in my twenties. What do you think I should do?

I hear what you're saying about most children not being born in ideal circumstances, and they turn out loved & ok. Me and most of my relatives were unplanned, often the result of unwed teen sex, but still turned into very much cherished children. Point was, don't actively try for a baby when you don't know if your heart is 100% behind it.

MaryPoppins,

I was already carrying my DD when my husband decided to pursue the fellowship here. The decision to come was by no means easy, but in the end it's much like expatkat said---the resentment I might feel in the short-term really is nothing compared to what could happen in the long-term if we did not try it. This is going to sound trite and silly, but I don't want us to end up aged and full of regret over things we didn't do. And this seemed like one of those really important things....

And I hated the town that we lived in---too close to the in-laws!