My sex drive is non-existent, desperate for another baby...

[FlirtyThirty]

Right...
My son is nearly 2 and utterly delightful. A joy to be with and very much loved by all.
I'm married - happily - and we have a good income and few gripes.
All rosy!
BUT...over the last few years, my sex drive as disappeared. I'm just not in the mood...ever. it's quite sad really.
After my son was born we didn't have sex for about 6 months. I had Lots of stitching and it was just to painful for ages. But now it's fine except that i currently feel thar I could happily go without sex forever.
This has issues...I'm married and though he has only said twice, and subtly, I know my husband wants more sex...and secondly, I want another child.
I feel bad that I'm about to start instigating more sex just to get the child I crave and not for my husband, but that's the truth....
I know I cannot tell him yet that I want to try for a baby as he'll fell bad if I start leaping on him all of a sudden just to get pregnant...so I feel I'm slightly duping him by laying a sort of foundation for the baby chat in a few months...

So, how can I get a sex drive...??? HELP!

Is there anything that could be contributing to a low sex drive? Are you on the contraceptive pill or taking any medication etc? Are you sleep deprived?!

I think with women generally, the less you have sex, the less you want it.

Flirty - I remember you from, I think, Spring babies thread...? Can't believe they are nearly two now . I haven't really got much of any help to say - I'll just watch this with interest. You're not the only one, is all I can say... In my case I kind of think it would be nice, but I just ALWAYS want sleep more... DD's not even a bad sleeper, it's just full-time work and child and life in general leave me disinclined. It's a tough one - I do empathise, and hope someone will be along with something helpful soon...

pinkteddy - I agree. Maybe it's just a case of really trying to make the effort. Even scheduling it in if necessary. In my case it's not as if I don't enjoy it when we do get around to it - it's just so infrequent I think I'm out of the habit! Flirty, does that sound like you?

Yes, I did used to enjoy it. And back at the start if the relationship we had an extremely active, adventurous sex live. I think we sort of got out f the habit if you know what I mean. That said, I'm not in the pill, medication r obvious TVA could ave caused such a dramatic change...

Pink teddy...I suspect what you say s true about wanting it less when you don't have it...

I totally sympathise with you, I seem to be having a reverse relationship totally sex mad at the beginning and practically chaste now.

I think you have to really think about the reasons why you don't want it. Do you still fancy your dh? Do you feel unattractive to yourself? If I don't feel tip top I tend not to feel worthy which is ridiculous but just a feeling that won't go away. I am tired so even though I may plan all day to have sex when I get home and the house is a shit tip and there are the usual drudgy chores it is a total turn off.

I also agree the less you have it it is like a wind down mechanism, so even if you lie in bed and ahem, have a bit of owninism, that can help get your drive up a bit.

I hope things work out for you.