How do you finish with someone nicely?

[marymarie]

Have been seeing a man for about 6 weeks and i dont think its going anywhere. We get on well and the sex is good but long term i dont think theres anything there.

I have 3 small children. He has always said he never wants us to end up living together, he doesnt want kids around. He said if i didnt have kids it would be different but as they are there then our relationship has to stay casual.

at the moment i dont have any deep feelings for him other than we get on great. I dont love him or anything and hes never said he loves me.

I do want us to stay friends though so want to finish things nicely between us.

I have to finish it with him cause i can easily see that if i keep seeing him i could end up falling for him and dont want to be hurt.

thank you xxx

dont be sorry - youre right

Mary marie,

You're a mum of 24 years of age who considers her childrens' welfare to be paramount and utmost in her mind when it comes to introducing a potential partner to the household. This attitude is to be applauded.

You realised pretty early on in that 46 year old man was not going to be suitable. You've shown yourself to be smart in this regard.

Would you consider seeing a counsellor re your lack of self esteem and the underlying issues causing same?. Feel that if you were able to do this then this would do you a power of good.

thank you. that last message meant alot to me and you know - i think i will go see a counsellor because i agree there are underlying issues that could be affecting me re self esteem and confidence and if i want to be happy then i need to get to the bottom of them and if im going to make changes to my life right now they need to be positive. so get rid of the casual boyfriend and work on me. thats my focus i think. cause i am worth more than being someones toygirl and used for sex. i have alot to offer a man (although the kids cancel out most of it lol) im going to really work on it.

thank you xxxxxxxxx

MM stop being so hard on yourself. you are both adults with no other relationships and you tell us he told you from the start he didn't want committment.perhaps you've used him too to give you a much needed self confidence boost- so you'ree even and have no need to reproach yourself about the way you've acted. However I agree with MU you've put your children first in the end which is great.You've just come to a point where you realise it's run it's course! So honey, move on, put it down to experience- your brain tells you you won't get anything more out of this relationship- just end it. Then do seek some counselling if there are other issues you need to resolve. Your children are so lucky to have a mum like you who knows- really- what's right for her AND them. Take it at face value- you needed the attention, so did he by the sounds of it- you both got that but now move on.Good luck.