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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH constantly blames me for him losing stuff

21 replies

fruitstick · 27/01/2011 20:42

He's lost his tax disc. It arrived a few weeks ago. He left it on the kitchen work surface. It's now not there.

Obviously it's my fault, obviously it's not his fault because he hasn't seen it since it arrived.

He is always doing this. He is selling the car on eBay this week as he can't afford to insure it. He is yelling that if it isn't found he won't sell his car and it will cost us thousands. I asked if he wanted me to help. He said 'Of course you should help, you fucking lost it'

Thing is, I probably have thrown it away. If it was an opened brown envelope left in the post detritus of the kitchen island then it probably did go in the bin, thinking it was a used envelope.

He is demanding I pay for a new one Hmm.

OP posts:
clevercloggs · 27/01/2011 20:46

mine does this too, i just laugh at him

devonsmummy · 27/01/2011 20:46

Cant you tell dvla it never arrived?
Sympathy for getting blame when stuff goes missing - it's the same in my house too!

fruitstick · 27/01/2011 20:48

You can get a replacement for £7 but he is not speaking to me and refusing to do it because i is an inconvience.

Angry
OP posts:
jesuswhatnext · 27/01/2011 20:49

oh! i get 'someones moved my'...fill in as applicable Angry i ignore ignore ignore! Grin (tbf, once he has found item and calmed down he will apologise! i sometimes make him grovel! Grin)

devonsmummy · 27/01/2011 20:49

Wot an arse!

Changeisagoodthing · 27/01/2011 20:52

White envelope if that helps

fruitstick · 27/01/2011 20:55

He is now refusing to come and eat his dinner.

Childish fucker.

Even more likely it was chucked if it was a White envelope!

OP posts:
IhateSunday · 27/01/2011 20:57

I have been, on occasion, accused of 'moving stuff on purpose' just so he can't find it on a morning.... yeah cos he's already like a bear with a sore head in the morning, I obviously want to make it worse...
Dick head...

BluddyMoFo · 27/01/2011 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fruitstick · 27/01/2011 21:10

I don't think I threw it away!

But all the post goes on the kitchen island, along with the piles of recycling, kids drawings and everything else.

If I had thrown it away before he opened it, yes I would replace it, but he left it lying around for THREE WEEKS and is now blaming me for not being able to find it because 'he wouldn't have thrown it away or moved it'.

No, he doesn't throw anything away or move anything so if I didn't do it occasionally we'd have to build and extension.

OP posts:
fruitstick · 27/01/2011 21:13

I've also offered to print the form out for him and send it off for a replacement but he's too busy to fill it out this evening apparently and it won't be any use anyway as it won't arrive in time to sell the car and he's not selling it without a tax disc so he'll have to cancel the sale and it's all hassle he doesn't need and it's all my fault because he should be allowed to leave things lying around the kitchen and I should be more vigilant about their safety.

And breathe.

OP posts:
Katisha · 27/01/2011 21:14

Sympathies.
Can you get the replacement without needing to involve him?

Katisha · 27/01/2011 21:14

x post#

When this has calmed down its time for a little talk about leaving stuff lying about for ever...

controlfreakyhappyandnew · 27/01/2011 21:22

dh is BANNED from asking me where anything of his is... from telling me he's lost anything, ever... and also banned from telling me he's found something he thought he'd lost... has improved my mental health considerably.

StarlightPrincess · 27/01/2011 21:25

Are you me, OP? I get blamed for everything going missing in this house, because 'I'm here all day.' If the kids have touched it, it's still my fault because 'I wasn't watching them'. Hmm

thisisyesterday · 27/01/2011 21:29

i would just not discuss it with him any more

point out that it was his mail, his responsibility and if he didn't take care of it then it's HIS problem

then jsut say you aren't going to talk to him about it until he can be sensible

marriednotdead · 27/01/2011 21:54

If you send off for a duplicate tax disc tomorrow, it will be with you by Tues/Weds latest. We got ours back in 48 hours after it blew out of the car window.

Assuming he will send off the form of course.

And that he has the log book to send with it...

fruitstick · 27/01/2011 22:00

He is driving near the local DVLA office tomorrow so is filling the form out now.

With much huffing puffing and protesting about how awful it all is.

OP posts:
clam · 27/01/2011 22:50

Oh fgs, do what they always do in these circumstances and turn it around on them. He is responsible for being careless with it, he opened the envelope and therefore knew what it was and he therefore should have put it away somewhere safe. It's his post, and his responsibility and you are having nothing more to do with it. End of.

And if he's that bloody childish to not come and eat the meal you have prepared for him, then give it to the dog and let him go hungry. Arse.

nobiggy · 27/01/2011 22:54

Do a jobbie in his shoe.

If you're going to be blamed for stuff, might as well do something worth being blamed for.

RealName · 28/01/2011 00:39

He's an idiot. I know how you feel.

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