any single mums with kids in different country from dad

[tetleytea]

Has anyone got experience of this? Separating from your partner and moving back to live in home country 2 hours flight away from dad. i want to leave my partner and would do it tomorrow if we could live in the same town. But that would be impossible - i'll have to move back to my own country, and this is what is stopping me, i really don't want to separate dd from her dad.

Has anyone got anything positive to say about this situation? Am feeling terrible terrible guilt about the idea of doing this and, but can see no alternative - the relationship is over.

Thanks for any help

why would it be impossible for you to stay in this country?

I earn practically nothing, but could work in my own country. Also want to be near my own family again. No family in this country, my daughter has no relationship with cousins here because of ancient family feuds.

Yes, dsd's mother lives in another country, she is 5 hours away from us and we have dsd full time.
(her choice to be that far away from dsd not ours)
Dsd's mother calls every evening, visits once a month - stays in hotel with dsd and dsd then goes to stay with her for approx 6 weeks a year during school hols. Dsd's mother comes and gets her and takes her back.
Also web cam is good option, emails if dcs are old enough.

you do not say where you are from not how old you are not how long you have been in uk, but pls think about re locating because to be nearly a single mum it is not much fun in small european cities

Currently living in Spain, where partner is from, have been here many many years. I hate living here, relationship is over. I want to move back to london, where i could work and dd would have a better quality of life -except of course her dad would be in spain.

I moved back here with young dc and it has been the best move for all of us. I am not saying that it wasn't bloody hard at the time and I felt a huge amount of guilt about my dc not being in the same country as their dad. The time spent making my decision was awful. However my ex was behaving horrendously and encouraging me to move country because he didn't want the responsibility of our dc.

Since our move he has in fact kept up good regular contact with them and is a far better dad now than he ever was before (probably because he realises what a fool he was to have wanted them in a different country and has been surprised by how much he misses them). So for our dc things have probably worked out for the best.

How does your DD's dad feel about things?

I'm about to move back to N Ireland with 3 sons. We live in Glasgow (not too far) I struggle with guilt as my 8yr old is close to his dad but he cheated and lied and for many reasons I left him in October. In NI we will have a network of support from my family and friends. It is not an easy decision to make but you can make the best of it with holidays and webcam etc.
good luck

Kind of.

He's buggered off to Aus leaving me and the kids here.

Now, DS (7)is ok about it all which really surprised me but DD(10) who is a complete daddy's girl was heartbroken.

It's been 7 months since he left and she still gets upset, especially after talking to him.

She's not sleeping, cries at the drop of a hat, but other days can be ok.

The only thing you can do is take it one day at a time and be prepared to take the blame for everything as far as she is concerned.

It does get better but very, very slowly.