can any computer wizards work out how he is doing this???

[neverlookback]

Ok so im paramoid about my dp's laptop habits, there have been a couple of arguments about the porn junk mail he gets and a bit of porn, we have sorted that out sort of, i have asked him to not use inprivate browsing as it makes me more suspicious and paranoid but he is getting rid of his history somehow.

We have google as the homepage, its my email and my password on the history and i leave it logged out, he defo does not know the password, but when he sometimes goes on i can see if the google drop down bar the sites he has searched for but in the history they are not there, now i know when you click in favorites you can see history and delete it there but it does not take it out of the web history you have to sign into to delete, so how is he doing it? I have tried being in inprivate but the google drop down bar is not there and if i look at something when i come out it doesnt alter to google drop down bar in the normal search screen???

Also last night i nipped back downstairs while i was bathing kid and he was on facebook and then later on i went on a few sites but today in web history there is absoloutly nothing in there, so is there a way of turning it off?
i know i sound like a physco but just to know how he is doing it would make me feel better!!!!!

Not secretly, no. But trust is very black and white, for me. I trust someone, or I don't. I am trusted, or I'm not. For me, it's not ok to say "Ok, I trust you a bit, but not enough for me not to go around checking up on you".

If he's promised he's not doing what the OP is afraid of, and she believes him, I don't see why she is still sneaking around checking what he's up to.

Ok

When the browser is open I think he will be going to Tools then Internet Options. From there if you go to the Content Tab and then Auto Complete settings, you can delete all sorts from there. Think this might be what he is doing. Don't know how you can sotp him tho

thanks brokenBanana i had a look at that it brings up the same deleting options as it does going into safety and then delete browsig history which works but deletes all the web addresses from the top google bar, he somehow
does it without these disappearing?

im like a dog with a bone, i think its turning in to more about the fact he can do something i cant do !

not helpful should be

Dealing with the technical question...

By "Google drop down bar" do you mean the list that appears when you start typing in the search box? If you do, that is simply Google's suggestions as to how to complete the search term you are typing in. It has nothing to do with sites you or your husband have visited or searched for. Also searching for a site on Google does not necessarily mean that you go on and visit it. It won't appear in your history on the computer until you actually visit the site.

I am also unclear what you mean by "web history" that you have to sign in to delete. What do you do to see this history?

strange
on some thread women are encouraged to snooping (I had to look the word up I never heard of it) while on this one people go oh no no no you should not be doing that

TBH apart from issues of trust I will not want porn on my (or shared) laptop for all sort of technical reasons

I do not use IE but on any browser you can check preferences and/or setting
some to check would be
history option to delete on closing / every...day/week... and so on, put on NEVER
parental control (hi, low...)
private browsing ... deletes history again, Uncheck anything here

If all setting are set to deafault than he is doing it manually but if he is not a PC savvy he may have forgotten the cookies (it does sound like it as you are getting spam)

you can usually look for cookies to see what he has been on
porn sites always store cookies on PC and often the name/address is an obvious clue but not always

Do you use Firefox? If you go to Tools - Options then onto privacy settings, you can set it so that it automatically clears your history and when you shut down your browser.

I believe you can do this in IE and other browsers as well.

I think that if it is becoming such an issue that he's breaking laptops then it really needs to be dropped, personally I wouldn't have that it sounds really childish which is maybe why hes enjoying having you run around after him checking up.

Try, really really hard to not let it get to you. If possible stop using the laptop on each others profiles, keep your own profile person and private and only use your profile.

That way you won't be tempted to check up on him, he obviously isn't going to stop with reasonable disscussion so you need for your own sanity to find a way of it getting to you.

"If you need to see what he's up to, install Spyware on the computer you probably should not be together".

Fixed your post.

a) you can set the settings so that it never remembers the entries, check if that is ticked

b) you can get programs such as window washer to remove all history etc

c) I get porn/chat/viagra/russian bride emails daily and I am a 40 something married woman

to find a way of stopping it getting it you, sorry brain melt

"i know he is hurt by my snooping and quite rightly so but he makes it worse by continuing
to be so secretive on purpose." no. it's a vicious circle - you are snooping on him which means he is being secretive which means you snoop on him more... it is not his fault you are both at fault here - you more than him perhaps even because he has a right to his privacy and you are denying him that right.

I don't like porn either and wouldn't be happy about my dh using it. But in all reality, although I would make my feelings known, and would certainly not be happy if he was paying for it/watching it instead of being with me, I don't actually think that I should be able to dictate to him what he does and doesn't watch.

You've made it clear that he's not been on dating/chat sites, so you need to let that one go. Similarly the spam is irelevant here - when I had a different email provider I got that kind of spam all the time, "make the women scream/chat online to men with big dicks/pretty girls/buy your sex toys here" the list is endless. And I can assure you I've never visited a porn site or a sex toy site in my life.

You need to have a conversation about this. But the bottom line is that if you're really so uncomfortable about porn and you really trust him that little then end the relationship.

All this snooping really isn't healthy.

And fwiw my internet explorer deletes all my history - I set it like that.

is porn really that bad in the grand scheme of things

I give up, thanks to the ones who have tried to be helpful.