Mum's "friendship" with man

[Choufleur]

I know I'm probably being precious but this is bothering me.

My Dad passed away last August. Very quickly since then my Mum has become very good friends with a man who live close to her. He's a widow so they have that in common and I completely understand it's nice for her to have another friend.

They seem to be getting much closer and today my Mum said that she is going on holiday with him in May. Sharing a cottage, separate rooms and all that but it's really bothering me that this may be becoming more than a friendship.

I miss my Dad dreadfully and feel upset that my Mum can seemingly get close to someone so soon after his death.

I've broached the subject with her and she insists that they are just friends, but I really can't help seeing it getting to be more than that.

Perhaps she's lonely and grieving and wants some company.

You lost your dad, and I am sorry about that. It's awful.

She lost her husband, lover, person who shared her life for how many years?

Now she's alone, staring at the walls. Looking at the empty chair where he used to sit. Watching something on tv and turning to comment on it, only to realise - there's nobody to comment to.

So she wants a little companionship. She's lonely. She's not forgetting your dad. This is actually all about missing him.

Don't judge her. She's doing nothing wrong and tbh, she really doesn't need to be made to explain herself and justify herself to you. It must make her feel like shit.

You are both grieving. Don't turn on her for being lonely.

My father did the same but it ended just as quickly.

Lots of people do this, get close quickly after bereavement, or form intense friendships super fast. It's something to do wtih heightened emotions and being raw.

I am so sorry you lost your dad, it is very recent.

I wonder though, if this isn't exactly what your dad would wish for her. To have company and to not be lonely with her grief? In a way it is a compliment to him, that she still craves and welcomes male company, after a long and happy marriage.

I know if my dad dies, I will be relieved if my mother meets someone.