i don't know where to start here to be honest. i fear this is going to be long. i have posted before about this horrible man that my dearest friend is married to, he is controlling, manipulative, emotionally abusive, lazy round the house, refuses to work (in fact boasts about being on benefits to the point where he makes jokes about people that do work paying for him to sit on his arse), doesn't pay the bills but will happily spend what little money they have coming in on himself, and is "stepdad" to my friends little DD yet he doesn't help with her or interact with her unless he has to.
he is a typical control freak like you read about on here, wanting to spend all his time with her, no real friends of his own, moved in with her within 5 minutes, married within a year or so, wanting more DC with her straightaway. yet he has never worked the whole time he has been with her - typical "cocklodger" basically.
he has also caused her to be estranged from her own mother and other best friend, because they dared to speak out and tell her what they thought of him. and he turned her against them. she now doesn't speak to either of them and hasnt done for over a year now :( all they did was care for her and her DD's wellbeing. for this reason, until now, i have never commented on his behaviour, because i didn't want to end up losing her as a friend.
he is also horribly sleazy and always making sleazy, pervy comments, "jokingly" to and about me and my friends other female friends. and my friend just sits and takes it all because she is "in love" with him for some bizarre reason. she also can never do anything on her own, he always has to tag along when she sees friends etc.
the last straw came two days ago when i invited my friend and her DD round for tea at my house and he showed up with them 
he kept making snidy remarks about DS and told him off a couple of times when there was no real need to, he just doesn't like DS for some reason and i think he just wanted to exert his authority tbh. he has told my DC off for no valid reason on several occasions. in fact, he doesn't like kids much it seems. he also kept making his usual pervy "joking" comments to me and i was just sat there getting more and more angry but i didn't dare say anything while they were there as it would have caused a big scene and made my friend uncomfortable. and then he would undoubtedly have waited until they got home and had a big go at her :(
i spent the whole evening seething over it and decided that i was going to finally be honest with my friend and i sent her an email saying that i didn't want her DH telling off my DC ever again and that also i felt that his constant sleazy comments to me are unacceptable.
the next morning i received a very long, terse reply defending him on every point, saying he was very "hurt" by my comments, that he thought it was ok to tell DS off and he doesn't mean any of his sleazy comments, its just his personality etc etc, its as if he has brainwashed her. i think either she had either shown it to him or he has access to her emails and had read it himself. i have replied back to her, and texted her a couple of times, but she has not got back to me, she hasnt replied to my email, or texted or called either, and i daren't ring her because i know he will be there.
i have got a horrible feeling that i have lost her :( like her mum and other close friend did. she is my best friend (as juvenile as that phrase might sound) we had our first babies together, we have helped eachother through thick and thin, relationship break ups, heartbreak and also been there for all eachothers happy times, i have told her things i have never told anyone and vice versa. and this ARSEHOLE has been in her life less than 2 years and turned her into this submissive, mousy girl that will throw away her family and friends at his demand. :(
i am sorry this is long and rambling. i dont know if anyone can help me or not, just wanted to get it out really.