Not Sure How I Feel About This.

[hopey]

Picked DD from her dad's this morning. Did the usual goodbyes as you do, then DD said she wanted to say I love you and have a kiss from ex-dp's girlfriend. Then had to endure gushing display from ex-dp's girlfriend all over my DD. Felt uncomfortable but didn't say anything, wanted to seem cool with it. Not sure I am though. Not had to deal with this before. I know I've nothing to worry about cause I get loads of love from DD, just not sure I like the lovey dovey display I had to see today. Anyone else have to put up with this?

Nope but can imagine how awful it makes you feel. However, comfort yourself with the thought that they are helping your daughter to feel happy too and you wouldn't want her to come home to you in tears/angry etc. Really feel for you though.

Easy to say but you have to think this way, don't you.

Your right rey, I wouldn't want her to feel miserable there. Its just hard sometimes. I'm stood there, 30 years old, single mum, not met anyone since ex-dp left 2.5 years ago and there they all are playing happy families, ex-dp's girlfriend all of 22, there in her little mini-skirt all over my DD. I'm not jealous of them, they just make me feel small sometimes.

try and rise above it, couldnt he drop her back instead?
I dread the day this happens to me, dp left 3 months ago, and has now got a girlfriend,

I drop dd off and he brings her back, i guess i would like to pick her up to because he is normally an hour late, as he was tonight, i wouldnt dare turn up that late,

Are you all on speaking terms?

REy - a long time ago, I was the ex-dp gf, and spent many weekends looking after his little girl. I never quite knew how to 'be' around her Mum, but I wanted her Mum to know that I really cared for her (actually, I loved her. Really loved her. I knew her form 10 months to 6 years). I wanted the little girl to know that I cared for HER as a relationship of it's own, not just because she came as a package with her dad, and i wante dher Mum to know that I didn't resent her daughter and would never do anyhting to undermine either of her parents relationship with her.

It's difficult all round, and I know there were times her Mum hated it - hated that to talk to her daughter she had to risk me answering the phone if she called to talk to her daughter, and I tried to be as tactful and 'low-key' as possible, and never to cross a line into substitue Mumetc, but in the end I thought the only way to get through it is to behave as naturally as possible.

Maybe I was wrong, I hope not, cos i wouldn't have wanted to add to post-split difficulties, and i had huge respect for the Mum because she clearly put her little girl because she had the trust and confidence to allow her little girl to make the relationships she wanted to make.

HTH - from the other perspective.

Ahem, I was never in a little mini-skirt!

Sandpanch, we are on speaking terms. Ex-dp and I have a very up and down relationship. One minute he's being all nice, the next he's trying to cut my maintenance, telling me what to do regarding DD and accusing me of not putting DD first when I have to work nights. When we first split up, ex-dp set up home straight away with his gf and flaunted it all in my face. They were both very cruel. The gf is fine towards me, perhaps cause of me being 'mum' and has no choice and cause she knows ex-dp's family and I get on very well. The thing is I make the effort to get on with her but can never forget the day she sat outside my house flaunting the fact she and ex-dp had got engaged, 3 months after he left me.

blimey how awful for you, i dropped dd off on friday night and he is supposed to give me £150.00 every 2 weeks, but he said he didnt have it!!!!!!!! NIGHTMARE

and i am supposed to say ok then, and i feel guilty if i make a fuss about it, when he is out having lovely time with her!!!! it is so frustrating, i did go into his bank yesterday and got a direct debit form so hopefully he will set that up.
He isnt content with the fact that he has already ruined my life by leaving, he has to carry on making it hard for me.....
he said he phoned csa, and they said he takes home £3350 a month, and would be expected to give me £39.00 a week, he lives with his mum as well!!!!!

he is at cinema with older dd at the moment, and we are supposed to be having a talk when they get back, and girls are in bed, not looking foward to it, but i am aiming to stay strong, and look gorgeous!!!!

sorry about that rant

You have a good rant sandpanch. Do stay strong and try not to let him wind you up. Too many times in the early days I would get wound up and we'd have a slanging match. Ex-dp actually finds it harder if I come across cool and in control and not fazed. He too tries to get out of giving enough money. I get £100 a month, he knows its too little but if I try and ask for more get a mouthful, so don't ask anymore.

blimey how do you manage on so little from him, does he earn much?

sorry that was meant to be £1350 a month

I'm lucky I have a job that pays enough for us to have a comfortable life, although it can be tight sometimes. I have to work several nights in a month and my mum is great at helping me with childcare. I'd rather support us myself than push for more money from him. He's given me extra in the past then taken it away again when he finds something more important to spend it on, like when they wanted to buy a dog.

that sucks chicky....Just remember that every dog has its day, one day your ex will be picking up your child & your handsome, rich, kind new dp will be there.....Im sorry you have to go through this & Im sure it is super painful...at least his new gf is kind to your child.